Deck the halls with Poms for bashing. Tra-la-lalala lala la la. The time is ripe to lay in the yule tide boot which reminded me of this Kiwi vodka advert which makes admirable effort.While bashing Poms has long been one of my favourite hobbies, at least they used to make it a challenge. It’s hard to put into words just how pathetic their effort in the second test in Sri Lanka has been, fortunately the Left Arm Chinaman has taken care of that thankless task

Well. Just when you thought that the viscous, pulsating flow of faeces that constitutes life couldn’t get any thicker, the England cricket team thicken the mix by collapsing to 21 all out.

Yes, a stirling performance by the great unwashed to welcome in the rebuilt Galle ground. After watching Jayawardene accumulate 213 not out, the Lankans declared on 499 leaving 8 overs before lunch to find that the benine pitch they’d been milking for 7 sessions is in fact possessed.

Vaughan played a captains knock and led his men from the front with a hard earned run before shouldering arms to one that trapped him in front. With just 5 overs to go till the lunch break one could have been forgiven for showing caution, however Vaughan had asked for a collapse and his loyal followers were eager to provide just that. Cook was inspirational and orchestrated the run out of Ding Dong Bell before surrendering his own wicket in the 6th over. Not even saffa pom could stop the rout, falling to Malinga the next over. Lunch was kind enough to find them 4/22 needing just 277 to avoid the follow on.

Collingwood held up an end in defiance of Vaughan’s orders however wickets steadily fell at the other end before the collapse was complete at the 81 marker. Had the not been kind enough to provide 12 extras a total of 69 was on the cards.

So.. they’ve got two days to find some backbone and learn to bat, otherwise we’ll be seeing a change in the world rankings with Sri Lanka climbing to 2 and the Poms dropping to 5. Nice.