This blog is called Beer and Sport for a reason, and that was never clearer than my coverage of the England vs Australia Test Match Rugby at 3am on Sunday morning. For those of you who struggled with my live match report, here is a sober translation.

ino try mother fúcker!

We scored a try, yay

commentary is mofúckingshízerhousern. and what’s with the ads@

The Channel 10 coverage is appalling. They only seem to have one commentator who is some pompous and quietly spoken Pom, who’se considered reflections add nothing to the spectacle. Think Sir Henry Blowfield on prozac.

ghey as.

Ryan Cross just did something stoopid

sackeyt you dumbshít mofo, kick it TGITS!

England winger, Paul Sackey, just executed a poor midfield kick that went straight to Wallabies fly-half Matt Giteau.

damn, missed onej. half time, 12-11

Oh bother, Matt Giteau just missed a kick at goal. It’s halftime and the Wallabies are leading 12-11.

CARN WALABI…..sorry ch10 ad break…………………….ES!!!!

We were playing some good attacking rugby when I was left high and dry by the Channel 10 coverage swapping to an advertisment in the middle of play. When they came back, play is up the other end of the field.

As a subscriber to Foxtel and someone who is prepared to pay a premium to watch sport live, it is most frustrating to live in a country where the government legislate to protect the right of ‘Free to air’ stations to deny me live coverage of sporting events.

I dont have abig enough font but

TIGHTEASDDSD!~!!@!~

Oh, I do believe that the much maligned Wallabies Scrum just pulled off a Tighthead. That is to say we won the ball on the opposition feed by literally shoving their front row’s head up their árses. I am rather impressed by this feat and wish to convey my happiness in blog form by using the biggest font availble.

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