Day 1 at the SCG review

The meeting point was set as the Crown hotel, about 5 minutes from the SCG. After several Coopers Pale Ale’s and Tooheys Old were enjoyed as breakfast beers, the topic turned to smuggling of alcohol into the ground.

Step 1 - HipFlask on head

Step 1 - HipFlask on head

Step 2 - Cover with hat

Step 2 - Cover with hat

Tomm went with the HipFlask on the head trick, nice how his hat covers this one up so nicely.









Filling the Barnoculars

Filling the Barnoculars

Next up were the Barnoculars, which were filled with 16 shots of Johnny Red. Nice.

Finally I’d opted for “I’m not happy to see you, that’s actually a HipFlask of JD tucked away in my Box Jocks”, don’t worry there’s no pictures of this one. All our efforts were in vain however as security was píss-poor. We could have just stuck half bottles in the pocket and walked straight through, they made a token effort to look in the bags and that was it!


Have some Pie

Have some Pie

Once at the ground and settled in our seats we grabbed some Beer and Pies. My wife found her pie a little hot so shared it with the two guys in front.









Dale Steyn is Unhappy

Dale Steyn Moping

Dale Steyn fielded right in front of us for the morning session, and never once smiled. He was impressed by the worst sledge I’ve ever heard however when a guy behind us yelled out “Hey Dale, you bowled pretty well in Melbourne”. He just replied “Thanks, I did”.







Moses with the ladies

Moses with the ladies

KRudd with the ladies

KRudd with the ladies

Kevin Rudd was obviously watching me get in photo’s between two ladies and copied my moves. Johnny Howard was up there as well, which is probably better than him trying to bowl in the nets. Last time I saw an ex-PM at the cricket it was the reformed non-drinking Bob Hawke. It was funny how quickly he jumped off the wagon when 30,000 Aussies started chanting “Here’s to Hawkey, he’s true Blue”. Quickest skull I’ve ever seen, he can be an anchorman in my boat racing team.

Ranga McDonald

Ranga McDonald

Here’s McDonald after he got SMASHED in the head so hard his helmet came off. He was generally entertaining to watch, and we started a new slow-chant when he does anything of note: “RANGA RANGA RANGA RANGA”. Comedy Gold.






This is taking far longer than I’d banked on, part 2 of the review tonight maybe…

Chris Rogers in it for the cash

Chris Rogers Sheffield Shield coverage at Beer and Sport will be postponed until the commencement of the NSW Bluetongues’ campaign.

So onto more distracting issues, like John Rogers. John is a simple man, and like many of his generation has strong values of honesty, integrity, and dignity. John believes in one club for life. This was made somewhat easier for John as he wasn’t very good and only played 4 first class matches, but true to his ethics they were all for his beloved New South Wales.

It pains John to recall the tale of his son Chris , who holds the rare blemish as the only Australian ever to hit a double century against Australia. It was Chris Rogers demorilising of Lee, Gillespie, Kasprowicz and Macgill that started the 2005 rot that led into a ODI loss to Bangladesh and concluded with the poms in an open topped bus.

The anguish that poor John suffers when regailing the career of his foreyed ranga slut of a son Chris is unbearable. Here is a one club for life man who’s son has so far graced the rosters of Derbyshire, Leicestershire, Northamptonshire, Shropshire, Western Australia, Victoria, and Australia.

In April Chris walked out on his contract with Western Australia, a curious move considering he’d just cracked the national setup, and one must ask as to the motivation for this move. The official line from camp Rogers was his frustration at being ommited from WA’s One Day squad. He had offers from Queensland, South Australia and Victoria, and to understand where Chris Rogers’ priorities lay, the benefits of playing each state have to be examined.

Queensland would have been a disaster for Rogers. His gingah hair and fair complexion would have been no match for the harsh Gabba sun.

South Australia on paper offered the best package. It was rumoured he’d get the captaincy, they are completely and utterly shithouse in the batting department so he’d be worshipped by all 7 SACA members, plus the Adelaide Zoo offers free entry to Rangas, themselves an endagered species according to Zoos SA’s director of conservation programs Kevin Evans.

Finally there was Victoria, and this could prove to be the final nail in his loyal fathers coffin, a man who’s life has been spent fostering a hatred of those damn mexicans with mobiles.

The plusses would be playing in the countries second best state side, not having to face Dirk Nannes, and inclusion in the shortened format of the game. But when it came time to talk turkey, none of these things mattered.

Chris is 31 years old, mostly blind, and wholly red haired. Peroxide and laser eye surgery are not cheap so he’d gone to the Mexicans, and here is why: Victoria are playing in the world T20 club championship. This is in India. The IPL is in India. $$$$$$$$$$$