Tag Archives: peter siddle

Moises in, Warner back

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moisesMy Portuguese cousin Moises Henriques has been called up for the single Twenty20 match against New Zealand! He’ll make his debut for Australia in Sunday’s match at the SCG.

Curiously the selectors have waited for his form to wane before selecting him, in this years (victorious!) Twenty20 campaign he scored 62 at 12.4 and took 3 wickets at 40.33. His one innings of note was 42 off 25 when he opened against Tasmania.

  • v QLD – 3(4) and 4 overs 2/26

  • v WA – 9*(5) and 2 overs 0/14
  • v SA – 6(6) and 3 overs 0/27
  • v TAS – 42(25) and 2 overs 1/24
  • v VIC – 1(4) and DNB
  • v VIC – 1(9) and 3 overs 1/30

Whatever, he’s made the cut and I fully support the inclusion of more young players from Australia’s best domestic Twenty20 team. An added bonus is his name is so similar to my own that it’s almost as if I’m playing for Australia, just look for the drunk, overweight and unfit guy (no, not Jesse Ryder) on Sunday.

Aussie Squad for Twenty20 on Sunday

Michael Clarke (c) – NSW , 27
Brad Haddin (vc) – NSW , 31
Nathan Bracken – NSW , 31
Callum Ferguson – SA , 24
Moises Henriques – NSW , 22
Ben Hilfenhaus – TAS , 25
James Hopes – QLD , 30
David Hussey – VIC , 31
Mitchell Johnson – WA , 27
Peter Siddle – VIC , 24
Adam Voges – WA , 29
David Warner – NSW , 22
Cameron White – VIC , 25

Hussey and Ponting have been “rested”, I suspect Rick’s never played a T20 against New Zealand.

They’ve name a 13 man squad, which is a bit rude for the one discarded player who’ll also miss this round of the Sheffield Shield. Hopefully they’ll give him a bucket to collect donations.

Preview – 2009 Allan Border Awards

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mitchell-johnson-and-jessica-bratichIt’s time to throw caution to the credit crunch, flop out the visa card and sign up for this years Allan Border medals on Tuesday 3rd February. They’ll be selling like hotcakes at these bargain basement prices of just $530 a seat. Why not get a bunch of mates together and grab a table of 10 for the heavily discounted bulk deal of $5,300.

Perhaps the corporate function is more to your budget, where you’ll get endless bottles of Crown Lager – officialy Australia’s worst beer in Australia’s prettiest bottle, not to mention Wolfblass Wines as endorsed by Stuart MacGill himself, unless Roy drinks them dry. Throw in accommodation at the Langham Hotel and the $1,175 per person is the cheapest night out this side of Sizzler.

Don’t delay in sending your cash as you could be up close and personal with the team who not only lost to India in India, but also lost at home to South Africa in both a test and ODI series. This is your very own opportunity to be amongst the exclusive and limited 1,500 guests and tens of thousands of TV viewers who get to see the former world number 1′s on big screen TV’s.

What’s more, you can join the rampant speculation of who’ll win this most prestegious of awards, judged over the 12 Test matches played since the 2008 AB gong was taken out by Brett Lee. There were tours to the West Indies and India, plus we hosted New Zealand and South Africa this year. Here’s the candidates for the AB Medal with Moses’ odds attached

The Good

  • 2:1 | Mitchell Johnson with 54 wickets at 27.07 plus 327 very handy runs at 21.8 (comparable to Hayden). Mitchell is also unbackable favourite to bring the hottest date for the night.

  • 2:1 | Simon Katich who made the most of his return to Test Cricket with 1129 runs at 56.45, and even managed a wicket from the 19 overs Ricky gave him
  • 3:1 | Michael Clarke with 1019 runs at 56.61 and 6 wickets at 69.33
  • 50:1 | Phil Jaques who scored 243 at 40.83 from 3 Tests before being dropped for Hayden, then picked up a back injury.
  • 75:1 | Brad Haddin with 736 runs at 38.73, 42 catches and netting the record for most byes by an Australian ‘keeper
  • 225:1 | Peter Siddle debuted quietly enough but has grown into a fair backup for Johnson. His 4 tests netted 17 runs at 31.29, while his batting picked up 75 runs at 15. He’s injured now too.

The Bad

  • 40:1 | Michael Hussey with 721 runs at 34.33 and breakthrough wicket of Paul Harris
  • 70:1 | Brett Lee battled divorce, poor form and injury yet still took 39 wickets at 36.69
  • 80:1 | Shane Watson who’s body held up for 5 Tests was able to score 176 at 19.55 and take 12 wickets at 31.25. Then he broke his back.
  • 1000:1 | Beau Casson went to the Windies as MacGilla’s understudy, then Stuey pulled the cork on his career and Casson got a Test. His figures of 1/129 were enough to have him not only dropped from the team but also have his CA contract not renewed.

The Ugly

  • 40:1 | Ricky Ponting’s captaincy record of 5 wins (2 NZ, 2 WI, 1 SA), 4 losses and a 3 draws as captain. His batting has also slipped with 974 runs at 44.27
  • 100:1 | Cameron White. Picked as our specialist spinner on turning tracks in India, he sort of tied up one end for a little while and scraped 5 wickets at 68.4, which surprised him so much he cried. Our very own Ashley Giles, he also hit 146 runs at 29.2. Dropped for the dead rubber for Krezja, who took 12 wickets.
  • 500:1 | Stuart MacGill took 5 wickets at 65, and probably wishes Warney retired 5 years ago.
  • 500:1 | Matthew Hayden dominating all comers with 383 runs at 23.93
  • 300:1 | Andrew Symonds the “all rounder” who bowled under 6 overs per innings and picked up 2 wickets at 65. Oh, he’s a batsman now. Fair enough then. Well, he scored 431 runs at 39.18 and with a high score of 79 from his 13 innings with 10 starts he was unable to convert any to a century. Also made the front pages for all the wrong reasons. Faced a suspension for going fishing instead of playing Cricket, called Prince Brendan a lump of shit, enjoyed glancing at Hayden’s wife and was generally a prize clown

Perth Test Player Ratings and Reviews

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Matty Crane

Matty Crane


Matthew Hayden

-15/10 – So completely and utterly shít that he destroys my “out of 10 scale” before it’s even begun. Useless fat bástard should have gone out on top in 2006, he’s surely only in it for the money now. The selectors talk about picking players on form, now is the time to act on this. I have so much rage for this Queenslander.. let me count the ways:

  • Not seeing off the new ball – The primary KPI for an opening batsman is to see off the new ball. In the 13 innings of the 7 Tests that he’s opened this season, Hayden has seen off the new ball twice.

  • Not scoring runs – Secondary KPI for opening batsman is to go on and make a total. During this season he has returned scores of 0(3), 13(40), 0(3), 29(20), 83(154), 16*(29), 16(26), 77(93), 8(16), 0(1), 24(36), 12(13), 4(22). That’s an average of 23.5 (35) [only 12 outs]
  • Old – he turned 37 last month. He’s got 1-2 years on India’s fab 4, even the retired Ganguly is a year younger.
  • severely out of form. His scratching around in our second innings was an embarrassment to watch and further degraded his legacy as a world class batsman. He is now the Denny Crane of Australian cricket.
  • In the way – so much talent is waiting for Hayden to just fúck off. If Phil Jaques were still fit I’d like to thin he’s already gone. Chris Rogers had a shot last year and since moving to Vic has been averaging 83. Sean Marsh top scored in the IPL against world class bowlers while retaining traditional straight strokeplay. Philip Hughes is averaging 59.52 and at only 19 years of age is a superb long term prospect.

Simon Katich

7/10 – Saw out the new ball in each innings in the face of a fired up new ball attack thanks to the moron scratching around at the other end. Played a solid intelligent knock in both innings by leaving anything not on the stumps and turning anything on the pads for a single. Rotated the strike in spite of his goose of a partner. Didn’t give chances until the ball that got him in each innings, and is responsible for turning Hayden’s best efforts at embarrassing team totals into respectable scores. Was unlucky I thought in the first innings to be given lbw to one sliding down leg on 83, but hey, shít gets wickets.

Ricky Ponting

the Batsman – 2/10 – Damn ordinary effort, first ball duck against a pumped Ntini and failed to make amends in the second innings. Still on track for 1000 runs this calendar year but his recent form is far from impressive.
the Captain – 3/10 – outplayed Graeme Smith in the first 3 innings, but that’s not really a glowing commendation. Could have tried something, anything while allowing the Saffas to accumulate the second biggest winning 4th innings total of all time for the loss of just 4 wickets. How about giving Andrew Symonds, Simon Katich or even yourself an over. How about slapping Brett Lee around the head with a wet fish. I’m no fan of this graceful meandering towards the inevitable loss, attack till the bitter death and go down bowling at their heads. At least it’ll quicken the pain.
I truly believe it’s time to hand over the captaincy reigns, Katich, Clarke or Hussey couldn’t do any worse than Rick the díck.

Michael Hussey

3/10 – A rare failure for the Huss, he’s fúcked his average (down to a depressing 61.56) and will be keen to make amends on Boxing Day. While some of the blame for his first innings failure can be given to the muppets above him, his dismissal immediately after Ponting in each innings makes me feel he’s a bit high in the batting order. Moving him back to 5 could be beneficial to the record books. Didn’t see much of him couriering caps around the field either.

Michael Clarke

5/10 – The saviour of our first innings collapse. No number 5 batsman should be coming to the crease at 3/15 in the third over, however Clarke stood up and stopped the rot. Scratchy early in his innings as seems to be his style, once he was in he gained composure until a brain fart cut short what could have been a match turning innings. Failed to make a meal of good conditions in the second dig and ultimately this test will go down as a disappoint for pup as it’s one that he could have taken out of South Africa’s hands.

Andrew Symonds

6/10 – Good starts but failed to capitalise. We need more than 57 runs from our specialist number 6 batsman and I don’t care how annoying their spinner is, spooning it to Mid-On is asking the selectors to reconsider his position. His form looks pretty good but to stick around as a specialist number 6 he’ll have to learn a Test match temperament and will need big runs in Melbourne to keep the sharks at bay. Maybe a few nights on the píss in the silly season will help him to regain his focus. Tough to gauge his all-round contribution considering Ponting didn’t give him a single over in the 4th innings, maybe he’s injured?

Brad Haddin

9/10 – Superb rear guard from the New South Welsh champunisher.. His batting with the tail is improving every knock and while we’ll probably never find another Gilly, we’ve found a new Healy. Can’t begrudge his getting stumped trying to bring up the ton with a 6, that’s the way he bats. Good to see someone wipe that smile of freaking Harris face too.

Jason Krejza

5/10 – I wasn’t expecting huge things from him in Perth and was predictably disappointed with his match aggregate of 1/204 is a very ordinary return when compared to his opposite number Paul Harris who accumulated 5/155! Lacked control and penetration with the ball, however he did trouble all the batsmen and if his control improves will be a real weapon, and his nut to claim Amla in the first innings was a deadset rip-snorter. It’s his batting that elevates him to a 5/10, as his 30* and 32 provided a real sting to the tail as his considered strokeplay and strong cutting made the saffas suffer long after they were due.

Mitchell Johnson

10/10 – Surely this must be the greatest performance in a losing test match? 11 wickets including the best spell of fast bowling I can remember, perhaps challenged by the West Indian greats of the late 70′s who at least had support from the opposite end. Seems to be loving the move to Western Australia and is now surely our number 1 strike bowler. It’s time for Mitch to get the new rock, he is now clearly leading our attack.
There is now solid proof that a player from the winning team will always win man of the match, regardless of the game situation.

Brett Lee

1/10 – Another disappointment from Lee. Bowled with fair pace but was consistently out-sped by Johnson. Match figures of 1/132 are a very ordinary return from an alleged spearhead who has never taken 10 in a match or 6 in an innings. Has struggled since his marriage brake up, and should be feeling some pressure from Watson.

Peter Siddle

3/10 – Has done a great job of learning Brett Lee’s tricks, and never looked very threatening with the ball. Match aggregate of 1/148 could have been so much more, last chance in Melbourne then it’s time to give Douggy Bollinger a shot at the project paceman spot.

The WACA

Two losses in a row to the home side, it’s time for the curator at the WACA to lift. Still not green, bouncy or swingy enough for my liking and heads need to roll for this.

Baggy Green vs Seth Efrika preview

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Test Cricket!

I swear I’ll get zero work done today. I’m so excited with the Aussie vs South Africa Test Series about to start. When it’s summer, in Australia, I can tell you that cricket’s the number one game in town. Just ask anyone around.

Pitch Report

Have been reading from the curator, he reckons the wicket was slow last year due to the domestic T20 final being 3 days prior to the WACA test and that stuffed his preperation. Surely we can chuck this garbage cricket indoors or something, just don’t fúck with our Test Cricket.

So here’s hoping for a green top that gives the Aussie and Saffa quicks all the assistance they could ask for. I want to see the WACA back to being the fastest and meanest pitch on earth.

Injuries

Stu Clark’s elbow giving up is terrible news for the Baggy Greens. Fortunately Side-Siddle is no slouch, he’s got a lot of heart and will bowl all day uphill into the wind, then rather than rest up in the lunch break he’ll get out his favourite axe and chop some wood in a relaxing David Foster tribute.

Fantasies

My fantasy team, the “Hairy backed sheilas”, is looking pretty good, despite being unable to afford all the NSW players and Hussey. Seems the folks at cricinfo have priced the Blues out of contention, which is understandable as we fúcking rock. In the end Lee had to be dropped, his pricetag of 100k was making it tough to get Clarke and Haddin.

The only good thing to come out of Clark’s injury is Siddle happens to be the cheapest bowler on the park, meaning I can afford more NSW players.

It’s time to claim my prize from the Chappell/Hadlee series, I’d like JRod to write a review of the 2007 Sheffield Shield final in the style of a madly patriotic New South Wales supporter.

Cliché Tossers

I’m honestly not too worried about the toss in Perth, it’s more what we do with it. Batting or Bowling there’s going to be opportunity to impose your will on the series. I’ll be upset to miss the cliché’s due to work so will have a go myself. The bowling team will want to take early wickets to put pressure on the middle order. They can do this by bowling in good areas and pitching it up to allow prodigious swing with the assistance of the good Doctor Fremantle.

What colour was the couch?

South Africa certainly used to be the All Blacks (Rugby World Cup vintage) of Cricket, but have they grown up? Ponting’s been trying real hard to get Smith to talk, alas young Graeme’s learnt a lot from his chronic foot in mouth of 1995. The saffas have Duncan Armstrong on the staff too, and I hear that he’s been involved in beating Australia in the past.

Donald Duck forgets to run

Donald Duck forgets to run

Anti-Siphoning

On advice from a Beer and Sport reader that I met in the pub (how random, I have a reader!), I’m going to keep my bítching about institutions to a minimum and will seriously try and get it out of the way in advance.

Perth Tests are always the worst for Aussie audiences getting rectªlly reamed by Channel 9. The schedule of play for NSW/VIC is

  • 1st Session: 1:30pm to 3:30pm
  • 2nd Session: 4:10pm to 6:10pm
  • 3rd Session: 6:30pm to 8:30pm

For those of us who have jobs, that third session looks prime for watching on the telly, however, those fúcksticks put on their shíthouse news and current affairs shízer so we get nothing between 6pm and 7pm. Sometimes they’ll delay the news by 10 minutes, so we’ll see the end of session two, but miss the first 40 mins of session 3.
Best of all Foxtel are forbidden from showing it as channel 9′s right to exclusive coverage is protected by law. Even though they’re not actually showing it, so, by law, they have the right to deny me coverage of the cricket. C9′s Sydney number is (02) 9906-9999 and I’ll be sure to call and yell abuse at 6:31pm.

Crystal Ball

Sure the Saffas have 2 guys who bowl over 150kph and swing it. We’ve got three.
Sure they’ve got a spinner who can contain, we’ve got one who turns it and takes wickets.
Sure they’ve got a settled and in form batting line-up. Um.. oh dear.
I’m with Oooh Aaah. 3-0 to the Aussies.

Merv, it’s time to go

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I loved Merv the cricketer, his ability to involve a crowd unsurpassed, always happy to like a teammates ear, and the guts to bowl all week up hill into the wind.

I enjoyed giving shit to Merv the tour guide, when he walked past my seats at the Lords in 2005 I drunkedly ranted off in my best Billy Birmingham cum Bill Lawry accent “Merv, Merv, Merv, He’s a hero this man, I love him, I wanna boof him, Hail the great man, Hail”

I was bemused by Merv the radio co-commentator of Sir Henry Blowfield, surely the oddest couple ever put together, yet I listened to this bizzare socialogical experiment and even derived some enjoyment from Merv sledging Blowers.

Now I’m loathing Merv the selector. He keeps picking bloody Victorians, and this time there’s not only a better New South Welsh player who actually has a CA central contract, there’s even a better Queenslander, one who didn’t make the tour, and he also has a central contract, and can bat.

If only there was some way to evaluate the bowling options in Indian conditions on recent form. The easy way would be to look at the Australia A tour to India a few weeks ago, you remember the one run for the purpose of developing and evaluating talent for the upcomming test series.

There was only one innings in which Australia bowled, returning the figures:

Doug Bollinger: 21 overs, 4/59
Peter Siddle: 15 overs, 1/27
Ashley Noffke: 19.4 overs, 1/67

Now to keep it in perspective, I should mention that Siddle’s sole wicket was the number 10. Douggie got the Indian 1, 6, 8 and 9.

Despite looking 35, he is only 27. The old-young man has even secured advanced hair sponsorship so no longer looks like a ballbag, and has something in common with Rick(y). Doug Bollinger should be collecting his baggy green cap today, and Peter Siddle should be collocting a refreshing beverage for Doug, I’d say an Indian Pale Ale but perhaps in this case a glass of Bollinger would be more appropriate.