Mitchell Johnson is in terrible form, you can read about it here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and according to google there are 520 more such stories here.

However, when one looks at aggregated bowling figures, Johnson has 8 wickets and is just trailing Hauritz (9) and Hilfenhaus (9) for series honours.

Mithcell’s bowling average of 41.38 looks terrible, until you consider the roads prepared to date and observe that he’s ranked 5th best in the series, ahead of JM Anderson (42.1), PM Siddle (45.1), GP Swann (56.1), SCJ Broad (64.1), MS Panesar (115.1) and all the part timers.

Johnno’s overall economy rate is poor at 4.00, with just Collingwood (4.47) and Onions (4.55) returning inferior resutls. Still, I haven’t read too many stories calling for Onions to be chopped.

On paper his bowling to date is more than acceptable, it’s impressive. He’s taken 8 out of 34 English wickets, namely Strauss, Cook (twice), Bopara, Flintoff, Prior, Broad (on 19) and Anderson (on 29) so there’s no ‘soft’ ones padding his stats, unlike SuperFred.

Are we asking too much of a guy who’s had the ‘spearhead’ label placed on him after 3 good spells and an injury to Lee? If we’re going to drop any bowler for Clark to come in then Siddle should be first in line.

Curiously the selectors have waited for his form to wane before selecting him, in this years (victorious!) Twenty20 campaign he scored 62 at 12.4 and took 3 wickets at 40.33. His one innings of note was 42 off 25 when he opened against Tasmania.

• v QLD – 3(4) and 4 overs 2/26

• v WA – 9*(5) and 2 overs 0/14
• v SA – 6(6) and 3 overs 0/27
• v TAS – 42(25) and 2 overs 1/24
• v VIC – 1(4) and DNB
• v VIC – 1(9) and 3 overs 1/30

Whatever, he’s made the cut and I fully support the inclusion of more young players from Australia’s best domestic Twenty20 team. An added bonus is his name is so similar to my own that it’s almost as if I’m playing for Australia, just look for the drunk, overweight and unfit guy (no, not Jesse Ryder) on Sunday.

Aussie Squad for Twenty20 on Sunday

Michael Clarke (c) – NSW , 27
Brad Haddin (vc) – NSW , 31
Nathan Bracken – NSW , 31
Callum Ferguson – SA , 24
Moises Henriques – NSW , 22
Ben Hilfenhaus – TAS , 25
James Hopes – QLD , 30
David Hussey – VIC , 31
Mitchell Johnson – WA , 27
Peter Siddle – VIC , 24
Adam Voges – WA , 29
David Warner – NSW , 22
Cameron White – VIC , 25

Hussey and Ponting have been “rested”, I suspect Rick’s never played a T20 against New Zealand.

They’ve name a 13 man squad, which is a bit rude for the one discarded player who’ll also miss this round of the Sheffield Shield. Hopefully they’ll give him a bucket to collect donations.

Perhaps the corporate function is more to your budget, where you’ll get endless bottles of Crown Lager – officialy Australia’s worst beer in Australia’s prettiest bottle, not to mention Wolfblass Wines as endorsed by Stuart MacGill himself, unless Roy drinks them dry. Throw in accommodation at the Langham Hotel and the $1,175 per person is the cheapest night out this side of Sizzler.

Don’t delay in sending your cash as you could be up close and personal with the team who not only lost to India in India, but also lost at home to South Africa in both a test and ODI series. This is your very own opportunity to be amongst the exclusive and limited 1,500 guests and tens of thousands of TV viewers who get to see the former world number 1′s on big screen TV’s.

What’s more, you can join the rampant speculation of who’ll win this most prestegious of awards, judged over the 12 Test matches played since the 2008 AB gong was taken out by Brett Lee. There were tours to the West Indies and India, plus we hosted New Zealand and South Africa this year. Here’s the candidates for the AB Medal with Moses’ odds attached

The Good

• 2:1 | Mitchell Johnson with 54 wickets at 27.07 plus 327 very handy runs at 21.8 (comparable to Hayden). Mitchell is also unbackable favourite to bring the hottest date for the night.

• 2:1 | Simon Katich who made the most of his return to Test Cricket with 1129 runs at 56.45, and even managed a wicket from the 19 overs Ricky gave him
• 3:1 | Michael Clarke with 1019 runs at 56.61 and 6 wickets at 69.33
• 50:1 | Phil Jaques who scored 243 at 40.83 from 3 Tests before being dropped for Hayden, then picked up a back injury.
• 75:1 | Brad Haddin with 736 runs at 38.73, 42 catches and netting the record for most byes by an Australian ‘keeper
• 225:1 | Peter Siddle debuted quietly enough but has grown into a fair backup for Johnson. His 4 tests netted 17 runs at 31.29, while his batting picked up 75 runs at 15. He’s injured now too.

The Bad

• 40:1 | Michael Hussey with 721 runs at 34.33 and breakthrough wicket of Paul Harris
• 70:1 | Brett Lee battled divorce, poor form and injury yet still took 39 wickets at 36.69
• 80:1 | Shane Watson who’s body held up for 5 Tests was able to score 176 at 19.55 and take 12 wickets at 31.25. Then he broke his back.
• 1000:1 | Beau Casson went to the Windies as MacGilla’s understudy, then Stuey pulled the cork on his career and Casson got a Test. His figures of 1/129 were enough to have him not only dropped from the team but also have his CA contract not renewed.

The Ugly

• 40:1 | Ricky Ponting’s captaincy record of 5 wins (2 NZ, 2 WI, 1 SA), 4 losses and a 3 draws as captain. His batting has also slipped with 974 runs at 44.27
• 100:1 | Cameron White. Picked as our specialist spinner on turning tracks in India, he sort of tied up one end for a little while and scraped 5 wickets at 68.4, which surprised him so much he cried. Our very own Ashley Giles, he also hit 146 runs at 29.2. Dropped for the dead rubber for Krezja, who took 12 wickets.
• 500:1 | Stuart MacGill took 5 wickets at 65, and probably wishes Warney retired 5 years ago.
• 500:1 | Matthew Hayden dominating all comers with 383 runs at 23.93
• 300:1 | Andrew Symonds the “all rounder” who bowled under 6 overs per innings and picked up 2 wickets at 65. Oh, he’s a batsman now. Fair enough then. Well, he scored 431 runs at 39.18 and with a high score of 79 from his 13 innings with 10 starts he was unable to convert any to a century. Also made the front pages for all the wrong reasons. Faced a suspension for going fishing instead of playing Cricket, called Prince Brendan a lump of shit, enjoyed glancing at Hayden’s wife and was generally a prize clown

Australia

Our bowling lineup looks at it’s strongest so far in the series with Shaun Tait and Mitchell Johnson playing together at last. Mitchell’s troubled the Saffas more than any other bowler on this tour so having him back after a rest will be a big bonus.

Hilfenhaus has shown some of the potential that I keep talking up this series, and bowled a heap of garbage too. He and Ryan Harris have been dropped for tomorrow’s game to make room for Tait and Johnson. I’d really like to see ‘Dirty’ Dirk Nannes given a shot, preferably in a way that forces him to miss tomorrow night’s Twenty20 final at the SCG

Shaun Marsh has blasted off the cobwebs of his sub-par domestic season with 78 and 79, here’s to a century from the Son of Swampy. The only question remaining in our lineup is which Queenslander to not play at number 8. Here’s hoping my boy Dave Warner starts middling them again tonight, if not can we have him back for tomorrow?

South Africa

Johan Botha throws like a girl, and his action is dodgy as hell but at least the teams over rate is improving. AB ‘c’ DeVilliers should be be getting back on the horse that threw him, look for Ricky to bring Tait on as soon as he’s in. The overly hyped Vaughn van Jaarsveld has been dropped, much like the multiple chances that have fallen through his hands and snuck past his bat.

We’re still looking for a way to negate JP Duminy, hopefully Tait can maim him as I just can’t see us getting him out the old fashioned way.

Free Stuff

If you’re going to the match tonight, hold on to your ticket as it’ll work at Homebush for the Twenty20 final tomorrow as well. We’re hoping to take the record for highest attendance at a domestic Twenty20 game from the Vics in addition to the Big Bash Trophy, so giving tickets away seemed like a good plan. To be honest I reckon they should give all tickets away and make cash off food/drink/merchandise, or charge a token amount to get the bums on seats. Still, $20 aint too bad..

The Teams

Australia 1 Shaun Marsh, 2 David Warner, 3 Ricky Ponting (capt), 4 Michael Hussey, 5 David Hussey, 6 Cameron White, 7 Brad Haddin (wk), 8 James Hopes/Nathan Hauritz, 9 Mitchell Johnson, 10 Nathan Bracken, 11 Shaun Tait.

South Africa (possible) 1 Herschelle Gibbs, 2 Hashim Amla, 3 Jacques Kallis, 4 AB de Villiers, 5 JP Duminy, 6 Neil McKenzie, 7 Mark Boucher (wk), 8 Albie Morkel, 9 Johan Botha (capt), 10 Dale Steyn/Morne Morkel, 11 Makhaya Ntini.

Man Cry

The Victorians are píssed off, as having their top players unavailable due to national service is a new problem for them. Now they’ll have to go without the services of Cameron White and David Hussey, who have a ODI on Friday and need their beauty sleep. There is no factual basis to reports that Cameron White Cried, again, at hearing the news, though it does sound likely.

Ryan Harris has been dropped from the national squad so will be available for Queensland, however they’ve replaced him with Mitchell Johnson so that’s probably worse for the New Texas Bulls, who’ll also be missing James Hopes.

CA have also denied requests for the players to be available of for the final, so NSW will be missing David Warner, Michael Clarke, Nathan Bracken, Brad Haddin and Nathan Hauritz.

This could well end up a good experience, as Michael Hussey is keen to explain IPL loyalties come before the state that bought you up, so depending on which IPL teams make the club championship any Australian side could be without their stars when the big bucks are on offer.

Victoria squad: Brad Hodge (capt), Aiden Blizzard, Rob Quiney, Aaron Finch, Andrew McDonald, Matthew Wade, Adam Crosthwaite (wk), Damien Wright, Shane Harwood, Jon Holland, Bryce McGain, Dirk Nannes.

Queensland squad: Chris Simpson (capt), Wade Townsend, Ryan Broad, Lee Carseldine, Nathan Reardon, Glen Batticciotto, Craig Philipson, Chris Hartley (wk), Ryan Harris, Nathan Rimmington, Ben Cutting, Alister McDermott, Ben Laughlin.

Used Car Salesman

Our chase tactics yesterday worked very well, one batsman grafting and the other dominating. Katich played a superb knock and ensured there was no batting collapse while Hayden and Ponting rocketed along at close to a run a ball.

Then Ponting got out and the wheels came off. Michael Hussey joined Simon Katich and we had two grafters happy to leave the short and wide balls in the pursuit of a big total. Had Ponting shown some flexibility and identified roles for his batsmen, Michael Clarke, Brad Haddin or Mitchell Johnson would have been the next man in and we’d have a further 50 runs in the bank.

I’m really missing the pre-declaration slog, we’ve got the cattle in our squad and to declare without giving Haddin or Johnson a swing makes no sense to me. Perhaps it’s bought about through denial of Hussey’s form?

This would have pushed their required run rate closer to 3.75, a considerable lift from 3.30. Plus we’d have handed them the opportunity to chase the highest 4th innings total of all time to go with the ODI record we gave them in Joburg.

Either way, if this had stuck we’d be sitting a lot happier

9.4 Siddle to Amla, 2 runs, Haddin’s dropped him! Thats a good delivery from Siddle, pitching and straightening off a length, Amla pushes at it off the back foot and gets a healthy edge but Haddin, diving low to his right, fluffs the take, tough though it was

NoteClick on the thumbnails to see the full pictures of these WAGs

Here’s the winners and the % of votes cast in their pool from round one, not surprisingly all the top seeded WAGS made it through their heats with flying colours, however Rianna Ponting polling 18% of the vote would have been at long odds.

The most dominating performance in round 1 was Roy’s missus Katie Johnson, though in fairness to the other WAGS she was up against a pregnant Meg Hodge and an out of focus Karina Castle.

Pool A: Annika McNamara [63%]
Pool B: Georgie Willis [73%]
Pool C: Haley Bracken [66%]
Pool D: Jessica Bratich [79%]
Pool E: Lara Bingle [79%]
Pool F: Lee Furlong [77%]
Pool G: Katie Johnson [82%]
Pool H: Amber van Schiajik [52%]

Here’s how the round robin table stands

WAGS Deathmatch

I’ll be working on round 2 this week..

Matty Crane

Matthew Hayden

-15/10 – So completely and utterly shít that he destroys my “out of 10 scale” before it’s even begun. Useless fat bástard should have gone out on top in 2006, he’s surely only in it for the money now. The selectors talk about picking players on form, now is the time to act on this. I have so much rage for this Queenslander.. let me count the ways:

• Not seeing off the new ball – The primary KPI for an opening batsman is to see off the new ball. In the 13 innings of the 7 Tests that he’s opened this season, Hayden has seen off the new ball twice.

• Not scoring runs – Secondary KPI for opening batsman is to go on and make a total. During this season he has returned scores of 0(3), 13(40), 0(3), 29(20), 83(154), 16*(29), 16(26), 77(93), 8(16), 0(1), 24(36), 12(13), 4(22). That’s an average of 23.5 (35) [only 12 outs]
• Old – he turned 37 last month. He’s got 1-2 years on India’s fab 4, even the retired Ganguly is a year younger.
• severely out of form. His scratching around in our second innings was an embarrassment to watch and further degraded his legacy as a world class batsman. He is now the Denny Crane of Australian cricket.
• In the way – so much talent is waiting for Hayden to just fúck off. If Phil Jaques were still fit I’d like to thin he’s already gone. Chris Rogers had a shot last year and since moving to Vic has been averaging 83. Sean Marsh top scored in the IPL against world class bowlers while retaining traditional straight strokeplay. Philip Hughes is averaging 59.52 and at only 19 years of age is a superb long term prospect.

Simon Katich

7/10 – Saw out the new ball in each innings in the face of a fired up new ball attack thanks to the moron scratching around at the other end. Played a solid intelligent knock in both innings by leaving anything not on the stumps and turning anything on the pads for a single. Rotated the strike in spite of his goose of a partner. Didn’t give chances until the ball that got him in each innings, and is responsible for turning Hayden’s best efforts at embarrassing team totals into respectable scores. Was unlucky I thought in the first innings to be given lbw to one sliding down leg on 83, but hey, shít gets wickets.

Ricky Ponting

the Batsman – 2/10 – Damn ordinary effort, first ball duck against a pumped Ntini and failed to make amends in the second innings. Still on track for 1000 runs this calendar year but his recent form is far from impressive.
the Captain – 3/10 – outplayed Graeme Smith in the first 3 innings, but that’s not really a glowing commendation. Could have tried something, anything while allowing the Saffas to accumulate the second biggest winning 4th innings total of all time for the loss of just 4 wickets. How about giving Andrew Symonds, Simon Katich or even yourself an over. How about slapping Brett Lee around the head with a wet fish. I’m no fan of this graceful meandering towards the inevitable loss, attack till the bitter death and go down bowling at their heads. At least it’ll quicken the pain.
I truly believe it’s time to hand over the captaincy reigns, Katich, Clarke or Hussey couldn’t do any worse than Rick the díck.

Michael Hussey

3/10 – A rare failure for the Huss, he’s fúcked his average (down to a depressing 61.56) and will be keen to make amends on Boxing Day. While some of the blame for his first innings failure can be given to the muppets above him, his dismissal immediately after Ponting in each innings makes me feel he’s a bit high in the batting order. Moving him back to 5 could be beneficial to the record books. Didn’t see much of him couriering caps around the field either.

Michael Clarke

5/10 – The saviour of our first innings collapse. No number 5 batsman should be coming to the crease at 3/15 in the third over, however Clarke stood up and stopped the rot. Scratchy early in his innings as seems to be his style, once he was in he gained composure until a brain fart cut short what could have been a match turning innings. Failed to make a meal of good conditions in the second dig and ultimately this test will go down as a disappoint for pup as it’s one that he could have taken out of South Africa’s hands.

Andrew Symonds

6/10 – Good starts but failed to capitalise. We need more than 57 runs from our specialist number 6 batsman and I don’t care how annoying their spinner is, spooning it to Mid-On is asking the selectors to reconsider his position. His form looks pretty good but to stick around as a specialist number 6 he’ll have to learn a Test match temperament and will need big runs in Melbourne to keep the sharks at bay. Maybe a few nights on the píss in the silly season will help him to regain his focus. Tough to gauge his all-round contribution considering Ponting didn’t give him a single over in the 4th innings, maybe he’s injured?

Brad Haddin

9/10 – Superb rear guard from the New South Welsh champunisher.. His batting with the tail is improving every knock and while we’ll probably never find another Gilly, we’ve found a new Healy. Can’t begrudge his getting stumped trying to bring up the ton with a 6, that’s the way he bats. Good to see someone wipe that smile of freaking Harris face too.

Jason Krejza

5/10 – I wasn’t expecting huge things from him in Perth and was predictably disappointed with his match aggregate of 1/204 is a very ordinary return when compared to his opposite number Paul Harris who accumulated 5/155! Lacked control and penetration with the ball, however he did trouble all the batsmen and if his control improves will be a real weapon, and his nut to claim Amla in the first innings was a deadset rip-snorter. It’s his batting that elevates him to a 5/10, as his 30* and 32 provided a real sting to the tail as his considered strokeplay and strong cutting made the saffas suffer long after they were due.

Mitchell Johnson

10/10 – Surely this must be the greatest performance in a losing test match? 11 wickets including the best spell of fast bowling I can remember, perhaps challenged by the West Indian greats of the late 70′s who at least had support from the opposite end. Seems to be loving the move to Western Australia and is now surely our number 1 strike bowler. It’s time for Mitch to get the new rock, he is now clearly leading our attack.
There is now solid proof that a player from the winning team will always win man of the match, regardless of the game situation.

Brett Lee

1/10 – Another disappointment from Lee. Bowled with fair pace but was consistently out-sped by Johnson. Match figures of 1/132 are a very ordinary return from an alleged spearhead who has never taken 10 in a match or 6 in an innings. Has struggled since his marriage brake up, and should be feeling some pressure from Watson.

Peter Siddle

3/10 – Has done a great job of learning Brett Lee’s tricks, and never looked very threatening with the ball. Match aggregate of 1/148 could have been so much more, last chance in Melbourne then it’s time to give Douggy Bollinger a shot at the project paceman spot.

The WACA

Two losses in a row to the home side, it’s time for the curator at the WACA to lift. Still not green, bouncy or swingy enough for my liking and heads need to roll for this.

Such as the one he just bowled. Genuine pace, swing, smarts, and a boner south of the equator. One of the best spells I’ve ever seen. Here’s some quotes from the cricinfo coverage:

6.55 pm: Ten overs ago, South Africa were cruising on 234 for 3 with de Villiers and Kallis batting with ease. They were picking off the singles, hitting the bad balls for four, and gradually reducing the distance to Australia’s total of 375. Then Ricky Ponting threw the ball to Johnson and everything changed.

Johnson’s last spell today was 5 overs, 2 maidens, 5/5. His overall figures are 7/42! He’ll open with the first over tomorrow morning, and with Steyn on strike and Boucher at the non-strikers end, he’s odds on to improve on these already amazing figures. Here’s some footage of the wickets so far

Mitchell Johnson – Best figures as a Queenslander: 5/39
Best figures as a Western Australian: 7/42 and still going!

He’s given Australia a superb advantage in this game, we’re looking at a solid 100+ first innings lead when an hour ago South Africa would have thought they’d be taking a lead.

Mind you, in the pub 90 minutes ago and some bloke said “Saffas are 3/180, we were 3/15″. My reply: “at least our tail can bat”