The Harris Factor

Harris doesn’t look the greatest bowler in the world, however the Rhodesian born off-spinner now has 49 Test Wickets and amongst them are some names that would make Cameron White cry.

The guy is stock standard left-arm orthodox bowler, and from watching him I can’t help but feel he does not deserve to carry the scalps of the best players of spin in the modern game, such as

  • K Pietersen (twice), once on 94
  • V Sehwag (twice)
  • S Ganguly
  • Inzamam-ul-Haq
  • VVS Laxman
  • MS Dhoni
  • CH Gayle
  • SR Tendulkar
  • Yuvraj Singh
  • MJ Clarke
  • A Symonds

Some bloke on the radio yesterday presented a workable theory on the Harris Factor. Apparently the guy is a complete wánker. Whether he learnt this strategy from Harbajahn or is a total knob jockey at heart I’m not sure, but giving the ball to the biggest prick in the team and letting him loose seems to be reaping dividends.

Mind you, it’s no small feat out-árseholing Smith, Kallis, and Nel, but apparently it’s his unique combination of lacking variation and skill mixed with his constant appeals as if to suggest to the batsmen that he could get you out at any time that has the worlds best batsmen drowning in honey.

His stats back this up as well, with 70% of his victims being caught in the field believing that they could hit this annoying piece of saffa shít into next week.

Paul Harris method of dismissal

Paul Harris method of dismissal

Aussies vs Saffas Day 1 – Updates and Commentary

Considering I can’t see the game, I thought I’d bring you some updates via the cricinfo ball by ball service and my thoughts on these developments from the first half of Day 1.

Hopefully unlike my T20 QBQ updates, I wont grow bored halfway through.. only time will tell. Refresh this post to see the latest…

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Jesse’s mum has got it going on

Jesse Ryder

Jesse Ryder

What an inspiration it is to see the rotund kiwi waddling in to bowl, he’s twice the man I am, maybe even more. So with this new found Ryder inspired bowling ethos I’ll be rolling the arm over for NSCC 3rd grade reserve at some oval in St Ives, can already feel the pain.

Great start to the Trevor-Barry trophy by the Kiwi’s, they did exactly what they needed to do with tight bowling, movement in the air and intelligent captaincy. They’re lucky to have not lost a wicket in the 5 overs of batting last night and full credit to them. Sounds like it’ll be a minefield out there with a fired up Lee and Clark probing away.

EnZed are most definately in a commanding position in this test, however they’ll need to talk with the bat today and make it count. The Gabba has really favoured the bowlers this year, here’s the two Sheffield Scorecards and putting the Aussie performance in this context 214 isn’t looking terrible.

QLD vs TAS
October 10-12
QLD 236
Tas 106
QLD 62
Tas 144

Queensland vs Victoria
October 21-23
QLD 245
Vic 353
QLD 150
Vic 45*

A mixed day for my fantasy team the ‘Overhand Underarmers’, despite a very poor start thanks to Hayden and Katich, they were at least dismissed by Tim Southee who also made the cut. My fantasy captain Michael Clarke chipped in with a dominant 98 before my tubby fantasy mascot Jesse Ryder took his second wicket.

Cricket WAGS Deathmatch – Round 1

Welcome to Round 1 of the Aussie Cricket WAGS DeathMatch. The rules are simple, just vote for the hottest missus in each pool. If you’re torn between two of the lovely entrants, I suggest you give bonus consideration to the one with the uglier cricketer who would never have scored such a hottie were it not for his sporting career.

All up there’s 8 votes this round, and the images are in the same order as the poll choices. You can hover your mouse over the pictures to see the names, and can also click the thumbnails for the full size and un-cropped picture to open in a new window.

{democracy:2}

Annika McNamara Christine Padfield Sue Langer

{democracy:3}

Georgie Willis Jacqui Morris Simone Warne

{democracy:4}

Haley Bracken Anna Gillespie Kellie Hayden

{democracy:5}

Elizabeth Lee Jessica Bratich Meredith Jenkins

{democracy:6}

Mel Gilchrist Lara Bingle Amy Hussey

{democracy:7}

Danielle Small Lee Furlong Michelle Clark

{democracy:8}

Katie Johnson Karina castle Meg Hodge

{democracy:9}

Amber van Schiajik Lindsay Kasprowicz Rianna Ponting

Top 10 reasons Austrlaia lost the Border Gavaskar Trophy

Ricky losing Gillies trophy

Ricky losing Gillies trophy

10. Losing the toss
I’d love to see some stats on how many teams have won in India with a first innings defecit. Batting first is key and each test was controlled by the opening innigns. Losing 3 tosses did put us at a dis-advantage, but we could have overcome this.

9. Stupid and thoughtless Dismissals
If you hit the ball directly to mid-on and run you deserve an uppercut. There really is no excuse for this in test cricket, and Hayden, Ponting and Hussey are all guilty as charged in the 4th test. Other memorable brain farts go to the collapse in Mohail that set up India for a win, some of Haddin’s half-hearted spoon’s directly to fielders, and Clarke’s last over lapses.

8. Team Unity
Ponting’s on field spat with Lee in Mohali was the lowest point of the tour. It sent out a message of dis-unity, bad communication, and a team in crisis. These disputes no doubt often happen when touring, but for fúcks sake keep them behind closed doors.

8. Lacking the killer instinct in Bangaluru
Our run rate was simply too slow in the first test, 2.86 in the first innings was below par but the real lack of intent was blocking out Kumble at the end of Day 4. The pre-declaration slog has been sorely missing from this current baggy green squad, oh how I miss thee. The lack of urgency in the first test led to us running out of time with bad light when we could well have been leading 1-0 going to Mohali.

7. the SG Ball
Despite having Troy Cooley who is widely regarded as the best bowling coach in the business, our bowlers didn’t get the SG Ball to talk until Watson and Krejza achieved enlightenment in the 4th Test. Brendan Julian in an interview with Watson about the Indians bowling the new ball cross-seam after Day 4 Test 1, yet at the end of Test 2 the word was we didn’t realise what they were doing.

6. Ordinary fielding
All the direct hits we are used to have gone fishing. Roy, while missed with bat and ball, it is his presence in the field who’se abscence is hurting us most.

5. The spinner
Cameron White is not a Test standard wicket taking bowler. If we were after a part timer, David Hussey or Shaun Marsh would have been worth a nod, but we already have Shane Watson and Michael Clarke as all rounders. The team was never in need of a number 8 batsman. We needed a spinner, or at least someone who had the potential to become a spinner. The selection of Krejza was dictated by no-one else being in the squad, and turned out brilliantly. However, when McGain went home injured we should have called up another spinner to give us more options. Why didn’t we take 5 spinners over if only to get them some experience? We could probably lend them out to Indian domestic teams then pick whoever is performing.

4. Impotent bowling plans
The Mohali pitch was a road when we bowled and a minefield when we batted, then reverted to a road, then back to a minefield. The Indian bowlers to their credit got movement in the air and off the deck while our boys broke their backs bowling uphill into the wind.

3. Not bowling Simon Katich
Why the hell did Rick only bowl Katich in the third test? In the 40 odd overs of spin on Day 5 of the 1st test Katto could well have made the breakthrough. In the second test our attack was impotent as we waited patiently for Anil to declare, still no Katto. In the third test he finally got a shot and looked dangerous from the first ball. He bought some much needed aggression to the bowling crease and had to be seperated from Gambhir by Billy, then dismissed Ganguly. Perhaps the biggest compliment of all was VVS failing to pick his pearler of an arm-ball. So having finally tried Katich, seen him bowl well in Indian conditions, Rick forgets all about it and gives him just 3 tidy overs in the 1st innings in Nagpur on a wicket on which the Off-Spinners were lethal, surely the left-arm chinaman was worth a bit more of a spell?

2. Stars not firing
An ordinary series from Lee who through a hand injury, food poisoning and generally bad form picked up 8 wickets at 61. Ponting started with 123 then went on to score 143 in his next 6 appearances. Hayden copped some ordinary Rauf’s early on but in truth didn’t wake up until the final innings of the series, by which time Ponting had already surrendered.

1. Píss Poor Captaincy
Ponting had a very poor series in many respects, none more so than after Tea on Day 4. There’s been suggestions of match fixing, and lets be honest, that makes more sense than any of his explanations for taking the foot off. Time for him to concentrate on his batting, give the captaincy to Clarke, Hussey, or…. Warne – he’d probably come back to be captain, especially with an Ashes Series coming up.