Man Cry

The Victorians are píssed off, as having their top players unavailable due to national service is a new problem for them. Now they’ll have to go without the services of Cameron White and David Hussey, who have a ODI on Friday and need their beauty sleep. There is no factual basis to reports that Cameron White Cried, again, at hearing the news, though it does sound likely.

Ryan Harris has been dropped from the national squad so will be available for Queensland, however they’ve replaced him with Mitchell Johnson so that’s probably worse for the New Texas Bulls, who’ll also be missing James Hopes.

CA have also denied requests for the players to be available of for the final, so NSW will be missing David Warner, Michael Clarke, Nathan Bracken, Brad Haddin and Nathan Hauritz.

This could well end up a good experience, as Michael Hussey is keen to explain IPL loyalties come before the state that bought you up, so depending on which IPL teams make the club championship any Australian side could be without their stars when the big bucks are on offer.

Victoria squad: Brad Hodge (capt), Aiden Blizzard, Rob Quiney, Aaron Finch, Andrew McDonald, Matthew Wade, Adam Crosthwaite (wk), Damien Wright, Shane Harwood, Jon Holland, Bryce McGain, Dirk Nannes.

Queensland squad: Chris Simpson (capt), Wade Townsend, Ryan Broad, Lee Carseldine, Nathan Reardon, Glen Batticciotto, Craig Philipson, Chris Hartley (wk), Ryan Harris, Nathan Rimmington, Ben Cutting, Alister McDermott, Ben Laughlin.

Ranga and Proud

Western Australia are awfully píssed off and seeking compensation after the original club championship was postponed due to men with guns. It’s a lot of cash they’re missing out on, and I feel a nice gesture would be for NSW Cricket to buy them a meaningful gift to ease the pain, perhaps a bronze statue of Simon Katich to stick up in the WACA headquarters..

You can bet the team we send to compete in India includes some names that have until this point played no part in the tournament such as Michael Clarke, Phil Jaques, Brett Lee, Stuart Clark and Brad Haddin. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, as any NSW cricketer will know it’s the privilege and also the curse of representing the state that breeds the big names.

I’ve put together a short synopsis of the 5 matches that have earnt us entry into the World Club Championship, and awarded 3-2-1–1 ratings as I feel they’re warranted.

Game 1 vs Queensland in Brisbane

Scorecard
A good bowling effort led by Doug Bollinger‘s 3/22 and well assisted by Moises Henriques 2/26 restricted Queensland early on, however Beau Casson 0/37 and Mark Cameron 0/34 got spanked allowing the Bulls to amass to 161. Thanks to opening batsman Phillip Hughes scoring 80(20) the total was chased down with 2 balls to spare.

Moses’ Player 3-2-1–1 Ratings
3 Doug Bollinger
2 Phillip Hughes
1 Moises Henriques
-1 Beau Casson

Game 2 vs Western Australia in Homebush, Sydney

Scorecard
Tight bowling by Aaron Heal and Marcus North restricted NSW to 6/148 off 20 overs. 18 year old newcomer Stephen Smith was my pick of the batsmen with 34*(21), Dave Warner 28(22) scored freely early on, while Phillip Hughes 35(34) and Dominic Thornley 23(24) got starts but failed to up the tempo sufficiently against WA’s slower bowlers Marcus North 1/27(4) and Aaron Heal 0/22(4).
Nathan Bracken 2/24 was the pick of the bowlers, Dominic Thornley, Stephen Smith and Moises Henriques generally restricted WA to the required rate of 6-7 rpo, while Beau Casson was again spanked leaking 0/26 off his two overs which gave WA the win and led to his being dropped for the remainder of the comp.

Moses’ Player 3-2-1–1 Ratings
3 Stephen Smith
2 Nathan Bracken
1 Dave Warner
-1 Beau Casson

Game 3 vs South Australia in Adelaide

Scorecard
A solid batting performance by South Australia saw all of their batsmen scoring at 6.5 to 8.7 rpo, however they lacked one batsman to deliver the killer punch in their accumulation of 160 runs.
Mark Cameron was tidy with 1/22, Thornley 1/27(3) applied the brakes nicely and Aaron Bird 3/35 contributed vital top order wickets while leaking runs. Nathan Bracken 3/38 gets the bogey rating despite 3 late wickets saving his figures from absolute embarrassment.
Dave Warner 35(35) got the Blues response off to an absolute flyer, nicely assisted by pedestrian Phillip Hughes 30(29) and Dominic Thornley 28(18)

Moses’ Player 3-2-1–1 Ratings
3 Dave Warner
2 Dominic Thornley
1 Mark Cameron
-1 Nathan Bracken

Game 4 vs Tasmania in Homebush, Sydney

Scorecard
A destructive top 3 saw the Tassie Tigers belt 194 thanks to Lockyear 51(29), Dighton 43(29) and Birt 44(17). Dominic Thornley 0/22 was pick of the NSW bowlers with his 4 overs going for less than Stephen Smith’s 1 over 0/23. Doug Bollinger while moderately expensive took the essential wickets of Dighton and Birt, thus keeping the Tigers total below 200.
The destructive form of Dave Warner had him off to play South Africa, allowing the return of Simon Katich 18(12) and despite a solid opening stand with Moises Henriques 42(25) the fireworks were absent down the order and 166 was all we could muster.

Moses’ Player 3-2-1–1 Ratings
3 Dominic Thornley
2 Moises Henriques
1 Doug Bollinger
-1 Stephen Smith

Game 5 vs Victoria at Homebush, Sydney

Scorecard
The penultimate match, NSW entered this 4th on the table with nothing to lose. A brutal bowling spell by dirty Dirk Nannes 4/11(4) hit the Blues hard early on, with Henriques 1(3), Smith 4(6) and Rohrer 7(8) his early victims. O’Keefe 6(6) fell to a run out and only opener Simon Katich 35(26) was able to resist the dark side of Dirk Nannes. Dominic Thornley 36*(36) came out in the 4th over with the score at 4/39 and steadied the ship, batting with the tail and taking the Blues to a depressingly low 128.
Douggy Bollinger 0/12 applied the pressure with some superb tight swing bowling, and Mark Cameron 1/17 kept the other almost as tight. Falling behind the run rate the Victorians shat themselves, giving up 5 run-outs, one each to Cameron, O’Keefe, Rohrer, Bollinger and Smith. I’ll give Simon Katich some credit for these as captain he would have been setting the fields. Victorian captain and serial whinger Brad Hodge summed it up nicely with “It’s a script on how to stuff up a cricket game”. Bravo.
A wonderful team effort from the Blues who now book their tickets to India, there is no villain from this match.

Moses’ Player 3-2-1–1 Ratings
3 Simon Katich
2 Doug Bollinger
1 Dominic Thornley
-1 None

Leaderboard

At the end of the regular season, the Moses’ MVP stands as follows:

6 Dominic Thornley
6 Doug Bollinger
4 Dave Warner
3 Moises Henriques
3 Simon Katich
2 Phillip Hughes
2 Stephen Smith
1 Mark Cameron
1 Nathan Bracken
-2 Beau Casson

NoteClick on the thumbnails to see the full pictures of these WAGs

Here’s the winners and the % of votes cast in their pool from round one, not surprisingly all the top seeded WAGS made it through their heats with flying colours, however Rianna Ponting polling 18% of the vote would have been at long odds.

The most dominating performance in round 1 was Roy’s missus Katie Johnson, though in fairness to the other WAGS she was up against a pregnant Meg Hodge and an out of focus Karina Castle.

Pool A: Annika McNamara [63%]
Pool B: Georgie Willis [73%]
Pool C: Haley Bracken [66%]
Pool D: Jessica Bratich [79%]
Pool E: Lara Bingle [79%]
Pool F: Lee Furlong [77%]
Pool G: Katie Johnson [82%]
Pool H: Amber van Schiajik [52%]

Here’s how the round robin table stands

WAGS Deathmatch

I’ll be working on round 2 this week..

Matty Crane

Matthew Hayden

-15/10 – So completely and utterly shít that he destroys my “out of 10 scale” before it’s even begun. Useless fat bástard should have gone out on top in 2006, he’s surely only in it for the money now. The selectors talk about picking players on form, now is the time to act on this. I have so much rage for this Queenslander.. let me count the ways:

• Not seeing off the new ball – The primary KPI for an opening batsman is to see off the new ball. In the 13 innings of the 7 Tests that he’s opened this season, Hayden has seen off the new ball twice.

• Not scoring runs – Secondary KPI for opening batsman is to go on and make a total. During this season he has returned scores of 0(3), 13(40), 0(3), 29(20), 83(154), 16*(29), 16(26), 77(93), 8(16), 0(1), 24(36), 12(13), 4(22). That’s an average of 23.5 (35) [only 12 outs]
• Old – he turned 37 last month. He’s got 1-2 years on India’s fab 4, even the retired Ganguly is a year younger.
• severely out of form. His scratching around in our second innings was an embarrassment to watch and further degraded his legacy as a world class batsman. He is now the Denny Crane of Australian cricket.
• In the way – so much talent is waiting for Hayden to just fúck off. If Phil Jaques were still fit I’d like to thin he’s already gone. Chris Rogers had a shot last year and since moving to Vic has been averaging 83. Sean Marsh top scored in the IPL against world class bowlers while retaining traditional straight strokeplay. Philip Hughes is averaging 59.52 and at only 19 years of age is a superb long term prospect.

Simon Katich

7/10 – Saw out the new ball in each innings in the face of a fired up new ball attack thanks to the moron scratching around at the other end. Played a solid intelligent knock in both innings by leaving anything not on the stumps and turning anything on the pads for a single. Rotated the strike in spite of his goose of a partner. Didn’t give chances until the ball that got him in each innings, and is responsible for turning Hayden’s best efforts at embarrassing team totals into respectable scores. Was unlucky I thought in the first innings to be given lbw to one sliding down leg on 83, but hey, shít gets wickets.

Ricky Ponting

the Batsman – 2/10 – Damn ordinary effort, first ball duck against a pumped Ntini and failed to make amends in the second innings. Still on track for 1000 runs this calendar year but his recent form is far from impressive.
the Captain – 3/10 – outplayed Graeme Smith in the first 3 innings, but that’s not really a glowing commendation. Could have tried something, anything while allowing the Saffas to accumulate the second biggest winning 4th innings total of all time for the loss of just 4 wickets. How about giving Andrew Symonds, Simon Katich or even yourself an over. How about slapping Brett Lee around the head with a wet fish. I’m no fan of this graceful meandering towards the inevitable loss, attack till the bitter death and go down bowling at their heads. At least it’ll quicken the pain.
I truly believe it’s time to hand over the captaincy reigns, Katich, Clarke or Hussey couldn’t do any worse than Rick the díck.

Michael Hussey

3/10 – A rare failure for the Huss, he’s fúcked his average (down to a depressing 61.56) and will be keen to make amends on Boxing Day. While some of the blame for his first innings failure can be given to the muppets above him, his dismissal immediately after Ponting in each innings makes me feel he’s a bit high in the batting order. Moving him back to 5 could be beneficial to the record books. Didn’t see much of him couriering caps around the field either.

Michael Clarke

5/10 – The saviour of our first innings collapse. No number 5 batsman should be coming to the crease at 3/15 in the third over, however Clarke stood up and stopped the rot. Scratchy early in his innings as seems to be his style, once he was in he gained composure until a brain fart cut short what could have been a match turning innings. Failed to make a meal of good conditions in the second dig and ultimately this test will go down as a disappoint for pup as it’s one that he could have taken out of South Africa’s hands.

Andrew Symonds

6/10 – Good starts but failed to capitalise. We need more than 57 runs from our specialist number 6 batsman and I don’t care how annoying their spinner is, spooning it to Mid-On is asking the selectors to reconsider his position. His form looks pretty good but to stick around as a specialist number 6 he’ll have to learn a Test match temperament and will need big runs in Melbourne to keep the sharks at bay. Maybe a few nights on the píss in the silly season will help him to regain his focus. Tough to gauge his all-round contribution considering Ponting didn’t give him a single over in the 4th innings, maybe he’s injured?

Brad Haddin

9/10 – Superb rear guard from the New South Welsh champunisher.. His batting with the tail is improving every knock and while we’ll probably never find another Gilly, we’ve found a new Healy. Can’t begrudge his getting stumped trying to bring up the ton with a 6, that’s the way he bats. Good to see someone wipe that smile of freaking Harris face too.

Jason Krejza

5/10 – I wasn’t expecting huge things from him in Perth and was predictably disappointed with his match aggregate of 1/204 is a very ordinary return when compared to his opposite number Paul Harris who accumulated 5/155! Lacked control and penetration with the ball, however he did trouble all the batsmen and if his control improves will be a real weapon, and his nut to claim Amla in the first innings was a deadset rip-snorter. It’s his batting that elevates him to a 5/10, as his 30* and 32 provided a real sting to the tail as his considered strokeplay and strong cutting made the saffas suffer long after they were due.

Mitchell Johnson

10/10 – Surely this must be the greatest performance in a losing test match? 11 wickets including the best spell of fast bowling I can remember, perhaps challenged by the West Indian greats of the late 70′s who at least had support from the opposite end. Seems to be loving the move to Western Australia and is now surely our number 1 strike bowler. It’s time for Mitch to get the new rock, he is now clearly leading our attack.
There is now solid proof that a player from the winning team will always win man of the match, regardless of the game situation.

Brett Lee

1/10 – Another disappointment from Lee. Bowled with fair pace but was consistently out-sped by Johnson. Match figures of 1/132 are a very ordinary return from an alleged spearhead who has never taken 10 in a match or 6 in an innings. Has struggled since his marriage brake up, and should be feeling some pressure from Watson.

Peter Siddle

3/10 – Has done a great job of learning Brett Lee’s tricks, and never looked very threatening with the ball. Match aggregate of 1/148 could have been so much more, last chance in Melbourne then it’s time to give Douggy Bollinger a shot at the project paceman spot.

The WACA

Two losses in a row to the home side, it’s time for the curator at the WACA to lift. Still not green, bouncy or swingy enough for my liking and heads need to roll for this.