Vitamin Whóre
By contrast, I and I’m guessing most of you have worked 21 days this year and are coping just fine.. and that’s without any multi-vitamins to keep us regular. Is it possible that Ricky’s taking the wrong ones? Perhaps he went for the Guarana and accidentally grabbed the Monkey faeces?
If my ship were sinking I’d be the last off.
NSW Opener
New South Wales have secured a major coup with Brendon McCullum, the big-hitting New Zealand wicketkeeper, drafted in to the state’s squad for the Australian domestic Twenty20 final in Sydney on Saturday. McCullum owns the most famous century in the format for his 158 off 73 balls in the opening match of the inaugural Indian Premier League and by playing for the Blues he will immediately qualify for the lucrative Champions League Twenty20 in October.
However, in the same article are these comments from NSW CEO Dave Gilbert which I find most disturbing
“With the potential losses the New South Wales squad may suffer depending on which two IPL teams qualify for the Champions League, it is vital that we strengthen our squad ahead of that tournament,”
What the FúCK! If the qualifying IPL “franchises” contain any New South Wales players, they get to pick OUR players to play for them AGAINST US! I can’t fúcking believe this. Stupid bloódy Indian franchises with their 9 months of history and poxy names, throw cash around to loan our players for the IPL, fair enough they can use the money, but to then have first pick of OUR players AGAINST US is a fúcking outrage.
I think of players such as Dave Warner, Moises Henriques and Stephen Smith who’ve come through the junior development programs we have in place, and there’s obviously a fair investment over a period of time in these players. Now some bollywood wánker gets first bite cause they pony up with a barrow full of rupees?
Surely, at the very least they’ll need to get the player released by their home state, at the discretion of the home state, and with a very large wad of cash exchanging hands. The very notion that these Indian blow-ins own our fúcking players makes my blood boil.
I don’t know all the facts, yet, but that never stopped me before.
Like it or not the IPL is upon us, and Sony’s got a billion bucks that says it’s here to stay.
So, time to choose a team. I figured Excel would be the tool of choice – so I listed the players in each squad, the name of the squad and started allocating points out of 5 for each element of each team.
Obviously any NSW Bluetongue player gets an automatic 5, as does Shane Warne. Other players can score up to 4 points with the exceptions of Jacques Kallis and Murali who both returned -5 and -10 respectively.
The results are in:
Mohali 29
Kolkata 21
Delhi 14
Hyderabad 13
Mumbai 12
Jaipur 8
Bangalore 3
Chennai -1
So, I’ll be supporting these teams in this order for each matchup in the comp. Might even enter a tipping comp and see how I go with these selections.
Unfortunately Mohali have a really crappy name (like NSW really..) – they’re officially known as the ‘Mohali Kings XI Punjab’. I’ve no idea what a punjab is and wouldn’t want to be caught on oxford street wearing a punjab jersey so have given them a better one – The ‘Mohali Meat-Eaters’. How’s that for alliteration and rhyme?
Like a true IPL s’lut I’ll change my mind next year when the players move so will my allegiences to them. Unless it bores the crap out of me or Channel 10 butcher the coverage like they did with the Rugby World Cup, in which case it’s lights off.
Carn the Mohali Meat Eaters.