Tag Archives: India

Mohali Massacre – Day 4

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I continue the pain of reviewing the Mohali Massacre as it unfolds.

First the positives

  • Michael Clarke didn’t get out in the last over of the day. For this we can thank Brad Haddin who farmed the strike for the last 12 balls, denying Clarke the opportunity to embarrass himself again.
  • Beer Bullet Points. I made a small pint act as the bullet point marker on BeerandSport.net. This is the only other positive thing to come out of day 4. Isn’t it grand..

And a few negatives

  • Ponting’s public spat with Lee. Rick(y) wanted to make a very public point that he’d lost faith in his strike bowler. Surely these conversations can take place behind closed doors? Where’s the seige mentality? It’s us vs them, once we display for all to see that our unity is threatened, there’s not much left in the tank.
  • Ponting bowling Hussey for 8 overs. It was clear that we were waiting for an Indian declaration. The Indians had wisely maintained a Left/Right batting partnership to ensure the Aussie fielders had to move after each ball, and were going out of their way to fatigue us. So what the bloody hell possessed Rick to bowl Hussey for 8 full overs? Here’s a fúcking brainwave Einstein, lets fatigue the worlds number 1 ranked batsman by having him bowl 50 odd balls under the hot Indian sun. Sure he’s the bloke we’re expecting to farm a lions share of the responsibility for saving the match, surely he’d be better placed to do that with stiffness in his back and shoulders. What did you gain from bowling Hussey? Sure he was kind of tidy, though the Indians kept up the 4.75 rpo so really, on the balance, sweet fúck all. Maybe it was a futile attempt to restore some sense to the over rates.. though if you’re serious about those then don’t change the damn field after ever ball.
  • Troy Cooley. Specialist Bowling Coach. Uh Huh. Seems Troy is a specialist with the Duke and not too bad with the Kookaburra, but when it comes to the SG Ball he’s as clueless as Greg Chappell. The Indians appear to deliver the new SG with a crossed seam, but then only scuff up one side. Are they landing it on the same side each time, or are they doing a damn fine job of polishing the shiny side? Or do they have special mints? Sounds like a job for a bowling coach.
  • Aussie batting collapse. To lose one wicket in a short period is unlucky. Two is foolish. 3 is grossly negligent. 4 either side of a tea break, fúcking atrocious. And to let top knot make the breakthroughs, the pain of it all.
  • Matthew Hayden getting out I can understand, he was entertaining the idea of getting the runs and for a second there even I believed it was possible. So did the Indians, as they moved their field back, released pressure and scrambled to contain the onslaught. Still, if you look at the practice matches and two tests this is a run drought of note for the strong tall left handed fisherman cook from Queensland who occasionally plays a bit of cricket. Time to send an SOS to the Son Of Swampy.
  • Simon Fúcking Katich. His role in this batting line up is the immovable object. 22 off 187 balls, that’s the sort of mettle I wanna see from the Krab, not some completely and utterly shíthouse shot on the stroke of Lunch. What’s this? A ball passing gently by outside my off stump, perhaps I’ll spoon it to point, that’ll show em. Katich gets a two handed HULK SMASH for that písspoor match losing effort.
  • Ricky Ponting
    I had held out hope for hope for match saving Ricky of Manchester 2005, instead we got Ishant’s bítch Rick of Perth 2007. Well he scored some runs in the first test so he’s still in the clear.. but talking of EPIC FAILS:

  • Michael Hussey To be fair I’d stopped watching or caring at this point. I’ll give the Huss some benefit though cause some moron had him bowl 8 overs in the sun which would have done wonders for his legendary concentration.
  • Shane Watson did a pretty decent job and together with Michael Clarke stopped the rot. Shane’s proving to be a pretty useful batsman and has done more than enough to retain his place in the squad.
  • Brad Haddin has also done well, though I wouldn’t stick the house on our holding out past tea. Had we been 2 down at stumps then as Balls of Gold suggested, a sizeable wager on the draw could have been a good bet.

To be dominated so completely with both the bat and ball, I’m starting to understand how it must feel to be English, bad personal hygiene and dentistry aside. Repeat this feeling for 17 years and the open top bus celebrations start to have some context… though I still reckon they overdid it.

Day 4, where to from here?

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I'm a rock star

Rock Star

So, what are the options from here on in?

Wave the white flag

This is the most likely scenario, considering Rick in pretty much hoisted it last night. At 0/100 India were happy to take the easy runs on offer at a quick scoring rate. Maybe Rick(y) will declare 587 runs behind so he can spend an extra day in Singapore with the missus, I hear the zoo is pretty good there and you can get cheap electronics. Not so sure about multivitamins though.

Just go through the motions and India will continue to accumulate quickly. When a wicket does fall, don’t be surprised to see Dhoni moved up the order, he’s young and open to experimenting – no need to have Dravid apply the breaks. Moving up the order would be an aggressive sign of intent, exactly how MS wants to be seen.
Result: India win by 500+

Attack and get Sehwag cheaply

This will bring in Dravid and slow down India’s scoring a lot. Ghambir is a chameloin who bats just like the bloke at the other end, so we could probably milk an extra session before the declaration if we can keep Dravid and Ghambir in.

Result: India win by 200

Bowl with some balls

Should Lee find his kahuna’s and come out to lead the Baggy Green attack, we could tear through the Indian batting lineup this morning and be looking at 5 sessions to chase 400.
Alas this would mean the pitch now has some venom which the Indian bowlers would only be too happy to exploit, making our batting for a draw all the more difficult

Result: India win by 200 runs

Shut up shop

We’ll have to make a huge improvement on our first innings effort, against an inspired Indian outfit and on a wicket that will likely get worse as it wears. Khan’s already been warned twice for following through into Singh’s landing area so that’ll provide some additional assistance to the Indian bowling outfit.

Honestly though I can’t see any of our batsmen surviving a day out there. This is their big chance to stand up and cement a spot in the lineup for eternity however. Katich could be a key here, he’s the type of bloke who could do it.

Result: Prolong the pain into Day 5

Do the rain/light dance

Well it worked for India in Bonnydoon.

Baggy Greens getting Spanked

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Smugness Well it’s come to this. I’m normally silent when we’re losing, but am breaking through the pain barrier to share my grief. There is no silver lining – we’re getting spanked, and not in a Peter Roebuck sexual deviant kind of way either. India have bent us over their knee and given us a proper rogering this Test.

It was a good toss to win, but so was the toss we won in Bonnydoon or whatever they’re calling Bangalore this month.

Rudi Koetzen is having a barry crocker. He’s happy to refer 4′s to the third umpire but when it comes to a close stumping on Ganguly he’ll just say not out. Turns out Gangers foot was in the air as Haddin removed the bails, and Gangers went on to notch up a hundred, so yes this did hurt Australia. It’s the worst mistake the Colonel has made since not referring Kumble’s caught and bowled on Ponting in Bonnydoon, though that mistake only cost India 10 runs.

The writing was on the wall for Australia when Kumble was dropped. Not only do they get a proper leggie in Mishra who turns it a mile, has 300 domestic wickets, and possesses one hell of a deceptive wrongun, but they get Dhoni as captain who has inspired them in the field and suddenly remembered how to bat. Assuming his fitness returns Kumble may get to carry the drinks in the third test.

Credit must go to the Indian Batsmen, though it must be said if they were to have any concers, it should be all of their batsmen making starts on a road against undisciplined bowling and not going on with it. Still, to have a question mark over the batting and make 470, it could be worse.

And by worse, I mean Australia. Hayden failed again, and this time he can’t blame the umpire. Had Jaques not gone home with a buggered back he would be looking good for the 3rd test. I was most upset when Hussey gave Clarke the strike for the last over on Day 3, as Clarke is now officially a final over bunny. Each time he goes out right before stumps I die a little inside. Hussey has ridden one hell of a lot of luck and still only made 50. Ponting went to the new ball that Hayden shouldn’t be exposing him too, probably too early to judge.

This is hardly news, but we are sorely missing a quality spinner. White has bowled better than expected, but I expected him to bowl 3 pies per over and he has only delivered 1 every 12 balls. So he’s been tight, but not threatening. Mishra has given him a lesson in turn, deception and bounce.

Johnson must have pissed Punter off, cause as our best paceman in both tests he would have expected to get the new ball. Siddle must be the chosen one in Pontings eyes, and his treatment couldn’t be further from that given to Tait, who was hyped all week in the press then held back till the last over before lunch on a juicy WACA wicket. He has bowled pretty well on debut, with lots of short stuff and the standard Victorian debutant first wicket of Tendulkar, but in truth offers little difference from Lee and really Bollinger should be there.

A fit Stuart Clark is sorely sorely missed. Nesta best articulated what he provides to the side

It’s been a long time since we haven’t had a clever back of the length bowler in the team – McGrath debuted in ‘93 – and although the Indians have problems too, this is the least confident I’ve been about a winning a Test since petrol broke the 50 cent barrier.

The only department in which Australia have been ahead is bums on seats – we’ve got a clear majority for paying patrons. If it weren’t for the Mohalians giving away free seats to kiddies Tendulkar would have broken the record in front of 240 travelling Aussies and his Mum.

Jim Maxwell and Spanky were on the radio and went into some detail on how one goes about securing a ticket to the match. You have to go to a bank in central Mohali and buy a 5 day pass. There is no single day pass, and no option to buy a ticket at the ground. The bank was presumably closed on Sunday. Go India.

Sachin’s Record – footage

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Well done to the Victorian cherry popper, a solid batting effort over many years has been rewarded with his place in the history books until Punter gets his act together.

Here’s some footage showing the reaction from the crowd of 287 paying cricket fans, superb effort from the Mohali locals to show out and support their national hero as he takes his place in cricketing folklore.

Just imagine how many runs Hussey would have got, had we picked him at 20 !

The wrath of Khan

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It’s not often I read about a new sledge, but in a story today is a pearler from an as yet unnamed Australian player from the 2003 world cup final.

To set the scene, we’re at the final of the cricket World Cup in Joburg. Zaheer Khan as the Indian spearhead has taken the Aussie players on in a verbal battle, sledging anyone who’d listen all match. With the Indian captain pulling his opening bowler after 7 overs with figures of 0/67 (9.6 rpo) and having part timers bowl out the remainder of his allottment, you’d have to say it backfired.

The as yet unnamed Australian player is most likely Gilly, Hayden, Ponting or Martyn, as they’re the only ones who got a bat on our way to 2/359 that day! The sledge:

“Well, Zed, there’ll be some houses burnt down in India tonight and the way you’ve bowled, yours could be the first.”