Beer and Sport » cameron white

Moises in, Warner back

Moses — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 05:32:50 +0000

My Portuguese cousin Moises Henriques has been called up for the single Twenty20 match against New Zealand! He’ll make his debut for Australia in Sunday’s match at the SCG.

Curiously the selectors have waited for his form to wane before selecting him, in this years (victorious!) Twenty20 campaign he scored 62 at 12.4 and took 3 wickets at 40.33. His one innings of note was 42 off 25 when he opened against Tasmania.

v QLD – 3(4) and 4 overs 2/26
v WA – 9*(5) and 2 overs 0/14
v SA – 6(6) and 3 overs 0/27
v TAS – 42(25) and 2 overs 1/24
v VIC – 1(4) and DNB
v VIC – 1(9) and 3 overs 1/30

Whatever, he’s made the cut and I fully support the inclusion of more young players from Australia’s best domestic Twenty20 team. An added bonus is his name is so similar to my own that it’s almost as if I’m playing for Australia, just look for the drunk, overweight and unfit guy (no, not Jesse Ryder) on Sunday.

Aussie Squad for Twenty20 on Sunday

Michael Clarke (c) – NSW , 27
Brad Haddin (vc) – NSW , 31
Nathan Bracken – NSW , 31
Callum Ferguson – SA , 24
Moises Henriques – NSW , 22
Ben Hilfenhaus – TAS , 25
James Hopes – QLD , 30
David Hussey – VIC , 31
Mitchell Johnson – WA , 27
Peter Siddle – VIC , 24
Adam Voges – WA , 29
David Warner – NSW , 22
Cameron White – VIC , 25

Hussey and Ponting have been “rested”, I suspect Rick’s never played a T20 against New Zealand.

They’ve name a 13 man squad, which is a bit rude for the one discarded player who’ll also miss this round of the Sheffield Shield. Hopefully they’ll give him a bucket to collect donations.

The Weakest Link: Victorians

Moses — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 02:29:48 +0000

Get down low and go go go

Victoria’s in the grip of the worst bushfire in their history, and it’s fair to say they need all hands on deck to fight back the flames. I decree that Cameron White and David Hussey immediately return to their “home” state to clear leaves from gutters and hand out blankets. If required they can hug grief stricken bogans in front of TV cameras, though Kevin Rudd seems to be on top of this at the moment.

Sending these two home will not only be good for morale and help out with the bushfire Emergency in Victoria, but also the Cricket Emergency in Adelaide, where the Kiwi’s are on the cusp of taking home with the Chappell-Hadlee Trophy, one they haven’t held since 2007.

Cameron White is in the ODI Team primarily to do Roy’s old job, which is a pinch hitter who bowls tight. He’s meant to come in at the end of the day and blast a quick 50 off 20. Here’s his ODI Batting Career thus far

The bloke has failed to rack a single 50 in 19 ODI appearances. His average is just 24.23 despite one third of his innings ending up Not Out (as happens at number 6 in ODI’s). His career strike rate is 95 which is also far to low for this role, I’d prefer it to be 120+. He’s played 3 good knocks in 19 attempts, the most recent being 42(19) against New Zealand back in February, 2007!

David Hussey by the same token is in the team to score quick runs quick. He had a great start to his ODI career, however of late has failed to deliver on his potential. This third ODI he came in with no pressure and failed again, whether this slump is due to poor form or as JRod would suggest he’s trying to impersonate his brother doesn’t really phase me, he’s not putting runs on the board and needs to make way. Curiously David Hussey has never been not out despite batting in the middle-low order.

These two Victorians are not pulling their weight and the current Australian Team can’t be carrying anyone. Now is the time to bring in some heavy artillery from the domestic structure that can take advantage of the batting powerplay and propel our totals back over 300. But who to pick, that’s a story for my next post.

Preview – 2009 Allan Border Awards

Moses — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 10:10:22 +0000

It’s time to throw caution to the credit crunch, flop out the visa card and sign up for this years Allan Border medals on Tuesday 3rd February. They’ll be selling like hotcakes at these bargain basement prices of just $530 a seat. Why not get a bunch of mates together and grab a table of 10 for the heavily discounted bulk deal of $5,300.

Perhaps the corporate function is more to your budget, where you’ll get endless bottles of Crown Lager – officialy Australia’s worst beer in Australia’s prettiest bottle, not to mention Wolfblass Wines as endorsed by Stuart MacGill himself, unless Roy drinks them dry. Throw in accommodation at the Langham Hotel and the $1,175 per person is the cheapest night out this side of Sizzler.

Don’t delay in sending your cash as you could be up close and personal with the team who not only lost to India in India, but also lost at home to South Africa in both a test and ODI series. This is your very own opportunity to be amongst the exclusive and limited 1,500 guests and tens of thousands of TV viewers who get to see the former world number 1′s on big screen TV’s.

What’s more, you can join the rampant speculation of who’ll win this most prestegious of awards, judged over the 12 Test matches played since the 2008 AB gong was taken out by Brett Lee. There were tours to the West Indies and India, plus we hosted New Zealand and South Africa this year. Here’s the candidates for the AB Medal with Moses’ odds attached

The Good

2:1 | Mitchell Johnson with 54 wickets at 27.07 plus 327 very handy runs at 21.8 (comparable to Hayden). Mitchell is also unbackable favourite to bring the hottest date for the night.
2:1 | Simon Katich who made the most of his return to Test Cricket with 1129 runs at 56.45, and even managed a wicket from the 19 overs Ricky gave him
3:1 | Michael Clarke with 1019 runs at 56.61 and 6 wickets at 69.33
50:1 | Phil Jaques who scored 243 at 40.83 from 3 Tests before being dropped for Hayden, then picked up a back injury.
75:1 | Brad Haddin with 736 runs at 38.73, 42 catches and netting the record for most byes by an Australian ‘keeper
225:1 | Peter Siddle debuted quietly enough but has grown into a fair backup for Johnson. His 4 tests netted 17 runs at 31.29, while his batting picked up 75 runs at 15. He’s injured now too.

The Bad

40:1 | Michael Hussey with 721 runs at 34.33 and breakthrough wicket of Paul Harris
70:1 | Brett Lee battled divorce, poor form and injury yet still took 39 wickets at 36.69
80:1 | Shane Watson who’s body held up for 5 Tests was able to score 176 at 19.55 and take 12 wickets at 31.25. Then he broke his back.
1000:1 | Beau Casson went to the Windies as MacGilla’s understudy, then Stuey pulled the cork on his career and Casson got a Test. His figures of 1/129 were enough to have him not only dropped from the team but also have his CA contract not renewed.

The Ugly

40:1 | Ricky Ponting’s captaincy record of 5 wins (2 NZ, 2 WI, 1 SA), 4 losses and a 3 draws as captain. His batting has also slipped with 974 runs at 44.27
100:1 | Cameron White. Picked as our specialist spinner on turning tracks in India, he sort of tied up one end for a little while and scraped 5 wickets at 68.4, which surprised him so much he cried. Our very own Ashley Giles, he also hit 146 runs at 29.2. Dropped for the dead rubber for Krezja, who took 12 wickets.
500:1 | Stuart MacGill took 5 wickets at 65, and probably wishes Warney retired 5 years ago.
500:1 | Matthew Hayden dominating all comers with 383 runs at 23.93
300:1 | Andrew Symonds the “all rounder” who bowled under 6 overs per innings and picked up 2 wickets at 65. Oh, he’s a batsman now. Fair enough then. Well, he scored 431 runs at 39.18 and with a high score of 79 from his 13 innings with 10 starts he was unable to convert any to a century. Also made the front pages for all the wrong reasons. Faced a suspension for going fishing instead of playing Cricket, called Prince Brendan a lump of shit, enjoyed glancing at Hayden’s wife and was generally a prize clown

Cameron White’s Feelings

Moses — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 04:18:41 +0000

Leaked exclusively to Beer and Sport, here’s the hurt feelings report filed by Cameron White after Sachin Tendulkar mad him cry.

Victorian Girly-boy

Victoria – cry me a river

Moses — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 03:53:34 +0000

Man Cry

There’s much talk about poor Victoria who will be forced to field an under strength team in tomorrow’s Twenty20 final. They’ve even tried to recruit Adam Gilchrist, which would have been awesome for the spectacle, but they obviously didn’t front up with enough cash.

Here’s who they’ll be missing tomorrow night

Brad Hodge – avg 42, sr 136. Top Twenty20 run-scorer in Australia. Top Twenty20 run-scorer in the world. Injured in Elimination Final.
David Hussey – avg 32, sr 140. Second top Twenty20 run scorer in Australia. Restrictive bowler. Playing for Oz.
Cameron White – avg 35, sr 154. Destructive batsman and part time bowler.

Boo fúcking hoo. I realise it’s a new experience for Victoria to lose players to the national setup, but this is something that happens to us all the time. Here’s the first choice players on our books that we’ll be missing tomorrow night:

Nathan Bracken – avg 19, eco 7. Worlds top ranked ODI and T20 bowler. Man-hair model. Playing for Australia

David Warner – avg 29.5, sr 150. Destructive opening batsman, playing for Oz.

Michael Clarke – avg 23, sr 130. Quality middle order batsman, economical bowler. Injured playing for Australia

Brad Haddin – avg 20, sr 110. Quality keeper and agressive batsman in superb form.

Stuart Clark – avg 18, eco 6.6. Econimical and threatining bowler. Injured playing for Oz

Nathan Hauritz – avg 15, eco 6.3. Restrictive bowler. Playing for Oz.

I can’t work out why these articles only mention the absent Victorians. On the balance I’d say NSW are in fact more weakened through injury/abscence than Victoria, but obviously both teams are missing a lot of quality. Regardless, it’s hard to agree with the sob story coming from south of the border.

Stars denied leave as Big Bash heats up

Moses — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 02:57:02 +0000

Man Cry

This evening will see Victoria and Queensland fight it out at the Gabba in a high stakes elimination final T20 match. The winner will not only gain entry to the lucrative world club championship, but also the privilege of a Twenty20 lesson from the top dog in Australian domestic Twenty20 cricket at the SCG on Sunday.

The Victorians are píssed off, as having their top players unavailable due to national service is a new problem for them. Now they’ll have to go without the services of Cameron White and David Hussey, who have a ODI on Friday and need their beauty sleep. There is no factual basis to reports that Cameron White Cried, again, at hearing the news, though it does sound likely.

Ryan Harris has been dropped from the national squad so will be available for Queensland, however they’ve replaced him with Mitchell Johnson so that’s probably worse for the New Texas Bulls, who’ll also be missing James Hopes.

CA have also denied requests for the players to be available of for the final, so NSW will be missing David Warner, Michael Clarke, Nathan Bracken, Brad Haddin and Nathan Hauritz.

This could well end up a good experience, as Michael Hussey is keen to explain IPL loyalties come before the state that bought you up, so depending on which IPL teams make the club championship any Australian side could be without their stars when the big bucks are on offer.

Victoria squad: Brad Hodge (capt), Aiden Blizzard, Rob Quiney, Aaron Finch, Andrew McDonald, Matthew Wade, Adam Crosthwaite (wk), Damien Wright, Shane Harwood, Jon Holland, Bryce McGain, Dirk Nannes.

Queensland squad: Chris Simpson (capt), Wade Townsend, Ryan Broad, Lee Carseldine, Nathan Reardon, Glen Batticciotto, Craig Philipson, Chris Hartley (wk), Ryan Harris, Nathan Rimmington, Ben Cutting, Alister McDermott, Ben Laughlin.

Bracken put a new spin on Test Selection

Moses — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 00:33:31 +0000

The hair is real

I was reading an excellent new blog (well I just found it anyway) called The Old Batsman which I’d recommend you all check out.

While there I came across an interesting story about Nathan Bracken learning to bowl spin to get himself back into the Baggy Green Test squad.

For mine the idea has a lot of merit. The selectors get wood when someone can bowl slow. Spinning the ball does not appear to be a necessity, nor is a decent record at shield level. As long as you claim to be a spinner you can get the baggy green for a test or two before getting dumped quicker than a knocked up Britney.

In recent memory we gave Beau Casson a test in the West Indies before dropping him and tearing up his central contract, Bryce McGain was a virtual selection before his shoulder imploded, Cameron White got 3 Tests as our very own answer to Ashley Giles (not that anyone ever asked that question), Jason Krezkya played a test and took 12 wickets to be dropped then picked up a training injury, and Nathan Hauritz also had a shot in Adelaide.

Bracken is tending towards the Funky Miller style of right-arm off breaks in the 90-95 kph range, and this makes a hell of a lot of sense. As the worlds’ top ranked one-day bowler he has the experience, temperament and man-hair that will help him become a success in the spinning role.

Also it’s refreshing to see a player who on paper really could be in the Baggy Green squad go and do something about it rather than just bítch to the media about non-selection. Brad Hodge if you’re reading this, give yourself an uppercut.

The final reason this is a good idea is that Ricky and the selectors are abnormally excited by any player who has a dual purpose. We’ve got Andrew Symonds as a specialist no 6 batsman who doesn’t score any runs/gun fielder, Shane Watson as a bowler/opening/no 7/catwalk diversion, Michael Hussey who bats 5/bowls impotent medium pace/couriers hats to fine leg, Simon Katich to open the batting/not bowl cause Ricky doesn’t give him the ball and Matthew Hayden to apply pressure to the top order/preach the gospel/píss off the 3rd world.

Curiously, Bracken claims his biggest obstacle in becoming a spinner is talking his captains into throwing him the ball on a short run-up. Here’s a brainwave, bowl well in the nets and prove yourself to them. Or even better, bowl the first ball normally then just fúck ‘em and bowl your spinners. If you’re half decent they’ll be on board in no time.

Cricket WAGS Deathmatch – Round 1

Moses — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 03:19:49 +0000

Welcome to Round 1 of the Aussie Cricket WAGS DeathMatch. The rules are simple, just vote for the hottest missus in each pool. If you’re torn between two of the lovely entrants, I suggest you give bonus consideration to the one with the uglier cricketer who would never have scored such a hottie were it not for his sporting career.

All up there’s 8 votes this round, and the images are in the same order as the poll choices. You can hover your mouse over the pictures to see the names, and can also click the thumbnails for the full size and un-cropped picture to open in a new window.

{democracy:2}

{democracy:3}

{democracy:4}

{democracy:5}

{democracy:6}

{democracy:7}

{democracy:8}

{democracy:9}

Ponting throws series to play New Zealand

Moses — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 02:54:34 +0000

Mini-Rick the Prick

What a fúcking disgrace the third session was yesterday. I can’t believe Rick would be so fúcking stupid to compromise the full trophy cupboard he inherited from Steve for the sake of some shítty over rate.

Oh how I hate this inbred Tasmanian wánker. Let me count the ways.

Would you sacrifice playing New Zealand in Brisbane for a better chance of winning in India? Hell Yeah!
We managed to get 10 overs behind on the over rate, despite bowling Jason Krejza for 20ish overs
Is it absolutely neccesarry to change the field three times an over?
Why doens’t the moved fielder run to their new position during the tri-overly field changes?
If the over rate is so damn important, why don’t we tell Lee and Johnson to shorten their run-ups like they do in ODI’s, as surely Lee off a half run-up when the ball’s reversing is still more threatening than Hussey?
Why the bloody hell did we drop Stuart Clark for Cameron fúcking White, who despite my best wishes has proven to be a very ordinary number 8 batsman and less effective than Michael Clarke.
Why not bowl Simon Katich? Ponting’s ignored him all series.
Tim Nielsen is a díckless wannabe. They interviewed him last night and one of the reasons that the quicks didn’t bowl after tea was they were tired! Give me a fúcking break, there are three of them, they’d just had a 20 minute rest, and they could have bowled in tandem with Krejza.
If we must play Cameron White, make him captain.. all he has to do is go out and lose the toss (as Rick for some help there), then Rick can still move his fields thrice an over, and Whitey gets the arse.

Time for Regieme Change. Nielsen to be given the arse for being díckless, Ponting demoted and on notice that the team is bigger than the man, and number 3 batsmen need to score runs.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d like for nothing more than us to pull this victory off, but it should have been so much simplier, and all the Indians have to do now is bowl a metre outside offstump to an 8-1 field like they did in the first innings. Then Rick will bítch about their defensive tactics while the Indians parade their Border-Gavaskar trophy in front of the 250 fans who bothered to show up in Nagpur.

I want Ponting dropped from captain and Nielsen and Chappel thrown out of the coaching staff. Time to give the reins to Tom Moody or Allan Border… and… Simon Katich

Slaying Demons on the Delhi Road

Moses — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:45:04 +0000

Katich Beard's a Hatrick

I’m off to Cairns for the next 10 days so it’s unlikely that I’ll blog in that time. So to fill the gap I’ll bring out the crystal ball to predict the remainder of this test.

Day 3 in Delhi will be a day of demon slaying. Simon Katich doesn’t shave this morning and now has a beard, which is instrumental in his bearding up a quick century, before a mid-pitch collision with Gambhir that leads to his run out. Both players are summoned before Chris Broad for spirit of the game violations.

Ricky Ponting comes in last over before lunch and hits 28 off Kumble to get his eye in. The next two sessions are absolute mayhem with Ricky and Haydo’s going at 9.33 runs an over. By stumps Ricky is on 281* and Hayden 401* of which 202 came off Zaheer Khan, or Haydo’s bítch as he’s now known. Australia are sitting pretty overnight at 1/788. Brian Lara is spewing to have lost both big records in the same series.

Ricky and Haydos retire overnight and Australia open Day 4 with T20 specialists Cameron White and Shane Watson batting. They bat for exactly 20 overs and put on a further 220 runs (White 118* and Watson 102*) before Ricky declares 395 runs ahead at 3/1008.

Katich opens the bowling with Brett Lee. In his first over he has Sehwag caught and bowled off the back of his bat when his reverse sweep gets all tangled up. Next over Gambhir charges down the pitch at Katich, but Simon says no and fires the ball hard down leg. Haddin completes the stumping.

Dravid is caught the very next ball by Ponting who still refuses to wear a helmet at silly mid and Katto’s on a hatrick. VVS walks to the crease to the sound of 350 Indian fans screaming (another great day for crowd attendance). Katto bowls him the wrongun and VVS again fails to pick it, shouldering arms to the ball that beards him outside the line of off but has done enough to convince Billy to raise his crooked finger. 4/28.

Tendulkar is next to go, retired hurt by a corker of a delivery from Stuart Clark, that picthed on a good length and reared up viciously, smashing him on the neck. A helicopter is flown in and Tendulkar is medically evacuated. I hope he’s ok.

Play resumes and Ganguly takes 6 minutes to appear at the crease, and even then with two left gloves. Ponting appeals and the Prince of Calcutta is timed out.

Full credit for Dhoni’s wicket goes to Steve Waugh, though I doubt you’ll hear that story from Cameron White. Dhoni blocked a regulation straight delivery then it bounced back towards the stumps only for Dhoni to knock it clear with his gloved hand. Handled ball. White cried. Again. 7/84, 311 behind.

Brett Lee and Stuart Clark cleaned up the tail, with only Mishra providing some resistance with a hard fought 120. Australia win by an innings and 240 runs. Katto beards man of the match. True Story.