The latest accusations are led by former Kiwi prop John Drake, who has assumed position as un-official spokesperson for the All Blecks front row, clearly perceiving them as a weakness and requiring a spokesperson to influence the referee. The story goes that our front row’s high body position during the “Crouch” causes the opposition pack to have to come up which puts them off.

Obviously not one to let physics get in the way of a good scrummage, Drake is ideally qualified to comment considering he watched the game on TV. He goes on to say “They probably cheated at scrum time.” Strong words indeed.

For the sake of clarity, here is IRB Law 20 (i)

A crouched position is the extension of the normal stance by bending the knees sufficiently to move into the engagement without a charge.

To Summarise, Knees bent = No cheat.

Someone slightly closer to the team, the Blecks forwards coach Steve Hansen has weighed in questioning the manner in which Burgess “spun the ball into the scrum.” Checking the relevant law, 20.6 (b)

The scrum half must hold the ball with both hands, with its major axis parallel to the ground and to the touchline over the middle line between the front rows, mid-way between knee and ankle.

Hansen may in fact have a point, if indeed Burgess is spinning the ball in rather than rolling it. Will have to check the footage on this one to be sure.

Well, on the oh so delicate subject of cheating, now that Richie McCheat is unfit we need to start some accusations of our own. Here’s a few to get started

Rodney Rodney So’olialo – lying all over the ball
Jerome Kaino – offside at lineout
Daniel Braid – doing it all night, all night ref
Andrew Hore – doesn’t throw straight
Ali Williams – grabbing the man in the air
Brad Thorn – throws people on their back causing unrelated groin injuries
Tony Woodcock – collapses scrum, weak as piss
Greg Sommerville – boring in
Anthony Tuitavake – late tackles
Ma’scar’a Nonu – drug cheat
Richard Kahui – not back 10m from free kick
Sitiveni Sivivatu – wife beater
Dan Carter – entire team in front of kicker

The Softboks under their head token puppet have developed a culture that can only be described as “Eddie Jones”. John Smit is leading by example and thinks that blaming his groin injury on Thorn’s dirty dump all and sundry to forget that he played on for 30 minutes after the fact.

Bok management are going on ad-nauseum that the judiciary is weighted in favour of Kiwi’s after Thorn got 1 week and Bismark missed 1 game for an eye gouge. Conveniently they’ve gone quiet on Bakkies Botha getting off scot free from concussing Stirling Mortlock in an off the ball incident.

Game 4 is going to be a thriller in a Sydney. The Blecks are likely to get back their captain while the Wallabies are sans Mortlock.

Ryan Cross is likely to start at 13, with Tim Tam Tahu likely to pick up his first bench spot. The Wallabies certainly have a league flavour to them, with 6, 12, 13, 14 and 19 all having spent time in the pokie subsidised code.

While in reality our chances of winning back the Bledisloe were sold by the ARU for Hong Kong Dollars, it’s a great chance for Robbie Deans to get one up on his former NZRU masters.

Bring It On!