Tag Archives: alcohol

Day 1 at the SCG review

Posted on by

The meeting point was set as the Crown hotel, about 5 minutes from the SCG. After several Coopers Pale Ale’s and Tooheys Old were enjoyed as breakfast beers, the topic turned to smuggling of alcohol into the ground.

Step 1 - HipFlask on head

Step 1 - HipFlask on head

Step 2 - Cover with hat

Step 2 - Cover with hat

Tomm went with the HipFlask on the head trick, nice how his hat covers this one up so nicely.









Filling the Barnoculars

Filling the Barnoculars

Next up were the Barnoculars, which were filled with 16 shots of Johnny Red. Nice.

Finally I’d opted for “I’m not happy to see you, that’s actually a HipFlask of JD tucked away in my Box Jocks”, don’t worry there’s no pictures of this one. All our efforts were in vain however as security was píss-poor. We could have just stuck half bottles in the pocket and walked straight through, they made a token effort to look in the bags and that was it!


Have some Pie

Have some Pie

Once at the ground and settled in our seats we grabbed some Beer and Pies. My wife found her pie a little hot so shared it with the two guys in front.









Dale Steyn is Unhappy

Dale Steyn Moping

Dale Steyn fielded right in front of us for the morning session, and never once smiled. He was impressed by the worst sledge I’ve ever heard however when a guy behind us yelled out “Hey Dale, you bowled pretty well in Melbourne”. He just replied “Thanks, I did”.







Moses with the ladies

Moses with the ladies

KRudd with the ladies

KRudd with the ladies

Kevin Rudd was obviously watching me get in photo’s between two ladies and copied my moves. Johnny Howard was up there as well, which is probably better than him trying to bowl in the nets. Last time I saw an ex-PM at the cricket it was the reformed non-drinking Bob Hawke. It was funny how quickly he jumped off the wagon when 30,000 Aussies started chanting “Here’s to Hawkey, he’s true Blue”. Quickest skull I’ve ever seen, he can be an anchorman in my boat racing team.

Ranga McDonald

Ranga McDonald

Here’s McDonald after he got SMASHED in the head so hard his helmet came off. He was generally entertaining to watch, and we started a new slow-chant when he does anything of note: “RANGA RANGA RANGA RANGA”. Comedy Gold.






This is taking far longer than I’d banked on, part 2 of the review tonight maybe…

A hard earned thirst needs a mid-strength beer

Posted on by

Fosters Australia have recently decided to drop the alcohol percentage of VB from 4.9% to 4.8%, and are expecting to save $20m a year in excise tax. Additionally they are increasing the cost of their beers by 2%, no doubt forecasting massive rewards for their shareholders.

One thing the marketing bigwigs at Fosters may not have counted on however is the ill-will this will cause in VB drinkers who will no doubt see this as a blatant money grab.

Just last week I was getting some work done on my outboard motor by a mechanic in exchange for a case of beer. I asked him what he wanted, to which he replied “VB”, only for one of his workmates to say “Hey you don’t want that shit VB, the c*nts are dropping the alcohol in it”. He settled for Carlton Draught, and with just that one small business switching over VB have lost around 6 cases of beer a week.

I find it that a company who’ve spent so much on market research in the past can honestly believe that people drink VB for the taste! Seriously, this is the funniest thing I’ve heard since the Bulls smashed the Eddie Jones’ Reds 92-3 in Pretoria.

“It certainly doesn’t affect the taste, which is very important to our VB drinkers,” VB spokesman Ben Wicks said. “The taste will stay exactly the same. Our master brewers have done a lot of work to make sure of that.” Source

NEWSFLASH: VB is drunk by tradesmen and labourers for the express purpose of getting shitfaced.

By my calculations the new formula VB is 2% weaker than the iconic 4.9% edition, which in terms of alcohol intake equates to one beer in every two cases. When you also take into account the 2% price hike, it’s fair to say that Fosters are now selling a 23 beer box.

How long before they reverse this decision?