Now that sport’s greatest orator has finally been given the árse, the pressure will start to mount on Michael Edward Killeen Hussey who’s recent form should have the selectors packing a spare middle order batsman for the South African trip.

In the 2008 Calendar Year, Hussey has scored 41, 145*, 0, 46, 22, 56, 1, 10, 40, 12, 18, 146, 31, 54, 1, 53, 90, 19, 35, 0, 70, 0, 8, 0 and 2.

Now for any mortal batsman 900 runs in a calendar year at 37.5 is not a bad spell, however the worrying thing for Husswah fans is the lack of recent hundreds, the average plummeting to sub-60 (59.36), and the most worrying of all – only one not-out in the year! How’s he meant to maintain a Bradmanesque average while getting dismissed? He’d have to score like 80 runs each innings, crazy I tells ya.

Sure he’s copped some bad decisions along the way, head butting the ball to square leg is a pretty good example of this, so I’d like for Mike to implement the patented Beer and Sport 1 point plan for roughie avoidance:

1. Hit the fúcking ball

I should declare that I’m a massive Hussey fan, which is why I’ve allowed his form slump slide until now. Hussey is the only Western Australian in my ‘Banner of Legends’, and believe it or not, my wireless router is called “Hussey Man Love”. I want more than anyone for him to return to his former consistent and sometimes boring self, else I fear the Steve Waugh treatment will be forthcoming – getting dropped for your brother!